


Thorn to the Brain

by thesmolestnerd



Series: Thorn to the Brain AU [1]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bathing/Washing, Brain Damage, Disability, F/F, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Permanent Injury, protective christen, tobin gets a TBI
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-02-11 07:36:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 24,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12930570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesmolestnerd/pseuds/thesmolestnerd
Summary: Tobin Heath was on top of the world, but when she fell, she fell hard.A TBI from a soccer game leaves Tobin disabled. Her and Christen struggled to deal with the aftermath of her injury as she learns to navigate the world differently.





	1. Tobin

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I'm writing this instead of the other fics I promised everyone I would work on, but this idea was burning to get out. Let me know what you think!

A hand rubbed up and down Tobin’s back. 

“Tobin, time to wake up.” Tobin let out a low moan. The hand ran up through her hair and rubbed her cheek. “Open your eyes for me, Tobs…” Tobin blinked slowly. Christen leaned over her and smiled. “Hi, baby.” Tobin groaned and rolled herself over, ignoring the shooting pains. “Alright, let’s get up.” Christen pulled the blanket off of Tobin.

“No…” whined Tobin. Christen shushed her. She rubbed down Tobin’s achy, bad leg. The muscles tensed. 

“It’s time for breakfast,” said Christen. 

“Fuck off,” said Tobin. 

“Good morning, sweetheart,” said Christen. Tobin turned her head. She saw a nurse setting up the feeding tube.

“W-where am…I?” asked Tobin. 

“You’re in rehab,” said Christen. “You have a TBI. That’s why you feel weird. It’s okay. You’re getting better.” Tobin closed her eyes.

“I-I remember,” she said. Christen nodded. “I d-do.”

“I believe you,” said Christen. She rubbed Tobin’s cheek. “It’s okay.”

“Head h-hurts,” she said.

“We’re gonna sit you up and give you some medicine,” Christen said. Tobin nodded jerkily. Christen smiled at her. “Can you roll on your back for me?” Tobin propped herself up. Her arm shook. Christen braced Tobin’s elbow and pulled her over. “Good job, baby girl.” Tobin blinked slowly. Her head drooped down. Christen tilted her jaw back and rubbed small circles on it.

“Aright,” said the nurse. “Time to sit up, Ms. Heath.” Christen raised the head of the bed. Tobin felt all her muscles stretch uncomfortably. She groaned. Christen sat down at the edge of the bed. She pulled a tray table over and grabbed a pudding cup. She scooped up some pudding. 

“Open up,” said Christen. Tobin looked down at it. She shook her head. “No? Why not?” 

“St-stom-stomach hurts,” she said. Christen bit the inside of her cheek. Tobin looked away guiltily. Her body ached. 

“Okay. Can we make a deal? Just a few bites,” said Christen. Tobin looked back over at her. The pure love and hope on her face made Tobin nod. Christen broke out in a grin and kissed the tip of her nose. Tobin smiled. Christen spooned the food into her mouth. 

All of the sudden, the muscles in Tobin’s throat felt paralyzed. She stared coughing. The nurse was by her side sucking the pudding from her mouth with a tube. Tobin ignored the heat burn her face. She couldn’t even eat simple pudding for Christen.

“D-done,” said Tobin. The nurse nodded and reached and untucked the tube from behind her ear. She attached the tube to a syringe and lets the water and then medicine drip down the tube. 

“Thank you for trying,” said Christen. Tobin nodded. “It’s just a bad day. You’ve had them before and they’ve gotten better.” Tobin had a feeling they’ve had this conversation before. 

The nurse attached the tube to a feeding bag. She gave Tobin a warm smile. 

“I’ll be back to check on you in a little while,” she said. 

“Th-thank,” she said. The nurse patted her arm and left. 

“How do you feel?” asked Christen. Tobin leaned her head back and closed her eyes.

“Sore,” she whispered. 

“You got a real work out yesterday,” said Christen. “I can gave you a massage after breakfast.” Tobin opened her eyes.

“W-what…what…” Tobin stopped and licked her lips. Christen squeezed her hand. 

“It’s okay, Tobin. Tell me what you need,” she said. 

“Day? Wh-what—t?” Tobin stammered.

“What day is it?” Christen asked. Tobin nodded.

“Friday,” Christen said. Tobin furrowed her eyebrows.

“S-soc…er,” said Tobin. Christen pulled a strand of hair from under the tube.

“What about soccer?” asked Christen.

“Y-you…s-soc…er?” said Tobin. Christen stared at her, and Tobin willed her to understand. Christen shook her head slowly. Tobin clenched her better hand in a fist. “Fr-fr-Friday…” She took a deep breath. A pounding headache formed behind her right eye. “Y-you have…s-soc..cer…”

“Why am I not at practice?” said Christen, realization dawning on her. Tobin nodded and pressed her hand over both her eyes and squeezed them shut. Christen touched her face, but Tobin jerked away.

“Why?” she demanded. 

“There isn’t any practice,” said Christen.

“L-lie,” said Tobin. She looked at Christen from behind her fingers. 

“I wanted to spend time with you,” Christen said. Tobin shook her head.

“I d-don’t n-need a…” Tobin halted. She stared at Christen. “A…” Tears formed in Tobin’s eyes. The word was gone. The word for the one…who watches…who watches the…the kids... She smacked herself in the head.

“No.” Christen grabbed her hand and rubbed Tobin’s head. 

“No,” Tobin whined. She jerked away. “Chris…” Christen pulled Tobin into her chest. “C-chris.” Tobin’s breathing sped up. Christen rubbed her hand up and down Tobin’s back, drawing soothing circles in her shirt. 

“Don’t cry, baby,” said Christen. “You’re doing so good. It’s just one bad day.”

“B-bad ever…th-thing,” sobbed Tobin. “B-bad. Fuck.” Christen shushed her. 

“It’s okay,” she said. “I know you’re frustrated. Don’t work yourself up. You’ll just make your head hurt worse.” Tobin pressed her face into Christen’s shoulder and sniffled. Tobin grabbed the back of Christen’s shirt with her better arm. “I got you, Tobs.”

“H-home,” said Tobin.

“You can’t go home yet,” said Christen. “They’re going to see how you’re doing in a couple of weeks. Then maybe you can go home.” Tobin looked up at Christen, snot and tears just dripping from her face. 

“T-two weeks,” she said. Christen smiled at her and kiss her forehead. 

“Yeah. Two weeks,” she said. She reached over for a tissue and wiped off Tobin’s face. 

“H-head…hurts,” she said. 

“I told you not to get upset,” said Christen. She held the tissue over Tobin’s nose. “Blow.” Tobin let out a weak snort. “I’ll be right back.” Christen got up and walked to the bathroom. Tobin leaned forward and squeezed her head. Pockets of pain flickered behind her eyes. She clenched her teeth. Christen came back with a wet cloth. “Look at me.” She lifted Tobin’s chin up and wiped he tears and snot off of her face. 

The machine beeped. 

“Breakfast is done,” said Christen. She finishes wiping off her face. She disconnects the feeding bag and clears the line with water. She tucked the tube behind her ear. She lowered the head of the bed. “Roll over for me.” Tobin made a face. “I’m just going to give you a massage. C’mon. Turn over.” She pulled Tobin on her stomach. Tobin’s arm got squished at a funny angle. She groaned. “What’s wrong?” 

“Arm,” she said into the pillow.

“I’m sorry,” said Christen. She pulled Tobin’s weak arm out from under her and stretched it out. She pulled Tobin’s jaw to the side. “Comfy?” 

“Y-yeah,” said Tobin. Christen nodded. She pulled up the back of Tobin’s shirt. 

“Let me know if something hurts,” said Christen. Tobin let out a noise of agreement. Christen’s finger kneaded Tobin’s back. She let out a low whine. “Relax for me.” Tobin took a deep breath. She felt some of the tension and pain drain out of her. Christen kneaded the muscles in Tobin’s bad shoulder. Her head felt heavy. The ache receded from her body and her eyes drooped closed. She let out a yawn. Christen giggled. “You can sleep.”

“G-good,” mumbled Tobin.


	2. Christen--flashback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christen hears the news about Tobin's injury.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So people seem to like this so that's good. Thanks for all the comments and kudos. 
> 
> So I think I'm going to have all the Tobin chapters be "present" and the Christen ones be "past." They'll alternate every other chapter.
> 
> This story isn't going to be super plot-heavy; it's more of a character study piece. 
> 
> I'm working on, like, 3 other big fanfics right now, but I'm on my break so we'll see how often I update this. I'll try to do it regularly. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are always loved. Lemme know what you think.

Christen closed her eyes and rubbed her face. Alex patted her shoulder. 

“It’s okay,” said Alex. “She’s Tobin. She’s probably just going to be sore. You can make out and rub up all over each other—” Christen let out a low sob. “Hey, hey.” Alex rubbed her shoulder. The door opened. 

A middle-aged man walked in. 

“Hello,” he said. “I’m Dr. Baker, Ms. Heath’s neurosurgeon. I wish we could have met under better circumstances.” Christen nodded.

“I’m, um, Christen,” she sniffled. “Tobin’s my girlfriend.” 

“I’m Alex,” she said, shaking the doctor’s hand.

“How’s Tobin doing?” asked Alex. Dr. Baker gestured to the chair. 

“Sit down,” he said. Christen turned and sobbed in Alex’s shoulder. 

“Is she…?” asked Alex.

“Ms. Heath is in the recovery room,” he said. Christen let out another sob. Alex rubbed her back. 

“Hey, she’s okay,” said Alex. Dr. Baker looked like he was about to protest. He cleared his throat. 

“So, um, Ms. Heath has a traumatic brain injury,” he said. “She had a small bleed in her brain. We went in and put a drain in to relieve the pressure. She’s stable now.” 

“S-so she’s okay?” said Christen. 

“Brain injuries are very tricky,” said Dr. Baker. “There was a fair amount of swelling. We’re recommending that we keep her in a coma for the next 72 hours or so.” Christen stared at him. 

“W-what?” she said. 

“I know it sounds scary,” said Dr. Baker. “But it’s honestly for the best. Her body shouldn’t focus on any but healing for the next few days.” Christen nodded. “We’re going to wake her up slowly and check to see what deficits she has.”

“If…?” she asked. Dr. Baker shook his head.

“No. I’m sorry, but she’s going to have some problems when she first wakes up,” he said. Christen stared at him.

“Like what?” asked Alex. 

“Seizures…she’s already had a few. She’ll probably need medication for it for the rest of her life. Dizziness, vertigo, nausea, chronic pain, weakness in especially the right side, cognitive problems, auditory processing disorder, trouble focusing, memory problems…” Christen got up and ran to the trash can. She bent over and vomited. Alex walked over and rubbed her back. 

“God, you really know how to lay it on thick, don’t you?” said Alex to Dr. Baker.

“They might not be that severe…”

“But she’ll have them,” said Christen. He nodded. She gripped the side of the trash can. Her breathing came out in short bursts. 

“Breathe,” said Alex. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not,” said Christen. She felt like someone was squeezing her throat. Her arms were shaking.

“Shh…” said Alex. 

“She’s young and fit,” said Dr. Baker. “She has a fair chance of a good recovery.”

“Good?” asked Christen.

“75…80%,” he said. Christen dry heaved. 

“Okay, Christen,” said Alex. “It’s okay.” Alex squeezed her arm. “Can we see Tobin?” Dr. Baker nodded.

“Yes,” he said. “She doesn’t look great right now—” Christen vomited again. 

“Okay,” said Alex. “You’re done talking.” She handed Christen a water bottle. “Swish and spit.” 

“I’ll have a nurse come and show you to her,” he said. He left. Christen rinsed out her mouth.

“I called Allie,” she said. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted to called Tobin’s parents…” Christen shook her head. 

“I just wanna see Tobin,” said Christen. Alex nodded.

“Okay,” she said. “We’ll do that.” Christen rubbed her eyes.

“Fuck, Alex…she has to be okay…” said Christen. She tucked her face into Alex’s shoulder. Alex rocked her gently. The door opened.

“Hi. I’m here to take you to Tobin Heath.” Christen turned around. A nurse in scrubs stood by the door and gave them both a gentle smile. Alex ushered her to the door.

“Let’s go,” said Alex. Christen let herself be lead out into the hall. She felt a little like she had left her body. She was a little lightheaded. She tried not to trip on her own feet as she walked into a ling room of curtained off areas. The nurse opened the curtain. Alex nudged Christen in. 

Tobin was in a hospital bed. She didn’t look as bad as Christen expected her to. She was just laying there. She had dark bruises under her eyes and a small tube coming out of her head. She had tubes sticking out from everywhere, including a ventilator sticking out of her mouth. Other than that she looked…normal. 

There was a nurse by her side adjusting some of the machines. 

“Hi,” she said. “Tobin is resting comfortably.” Christen was frozen. “You can come over here. Talking to her and physical contact help healing.” Christen slowly walked over to Tobin’s side. She gently grabbed her hand. Christen lifted Tobin’s hand to her mouth and gave the back of her hand a soft kiss.

“Hi, baby,” said Christen. She reached over and rubbed Tobin’s cheek. “You’re going to be just fine.” Tobin’s forehead creased. “Is she…? Um, is she in pain?” 

“No,” said. “Don’t worry. She’s not in any pain. She’s sedated. She might be a little aware of what’s going on.” Christen ran her hand across Tobin’s forehead.

“Shh…” she said. “You’re okay.” Her forehead relaxed. Christen gave her a soft smile. “I’ll be here when you wake up, baby.” The nurse finished up. 

“I’ll be back in ten minutes,” said the nurse. Christen nodded. Alex checked her phone.

“Allie and Kelley got here,” she said. “I’m going to get them.” Christen nodded. She pulled up a stool next to Tobin’s bed. She rubbed her hand up and down over Tobin’s arm. She sniffled. 

“I’m so sorry this happened, Tobin,” she said. “This is going to be so hard. But I’m here for you, okay?” Christen rubbed her nose. “I will always be here for you.” She leaned over and kissed Tobin on the jaw, her mouth brushing up against the tape that held the ventilator tube in place. “Don’t be scared, okay? I’m here, and Allie, Kelley, and Alex are here…I’m gonna call your mom and dad and Perry and…” Christen shuddered. “We’re all here waiting for you to wake up, okay?” Christen watched the rise and fall of Tobin’s chest. “I love you.”


	3. Tobin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin at therapy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for all of this suffering. Hope you like it. Lemme know in comments and kudos. You guys rock.

“No…” moaned Tobin. 

“You’re doing so good, baby,” said Christen. Matt, Tobin’s PT, supported her lower back as she tried to support herself up. 

Tobin’s head spun, and her stomach lurched. 

“Look at you,” said Matt. “You’re doing really well.” Tobin took a shaky breath.

“D-don’t…” started Tobin. She bit her lip and closed her eyes.

“Don’t…?” said Matt. Tobin didn’t feel like she was doing very well. She groaned again. “Just a few more seconds…” Tobin’s back shook and trembled.

“C-can’t-t…” said Tobin. Her shoulders collapsed in, and she fell forward. She let out a small whine. Christen caught her.

“It’s okay,” Christen said. Tobin pressed her face into Christen’s neck. “You did really good.” Tobin shook her head. 

“No,” she said. “Duh-duh-unn.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “Hurts.” 

“Come on, Tobin. You can do it. You only have one more activity before you’re done with PT,” said Matt. Tobin glared at him. Christen rubbed her cheek. 

“Please, baby. One more try,” she said. Tobin squeezed her eyes shut, trying to ignore the white-hot pressure building up behind her right eye. She looked up at Christen.

“N-no,” she said. “Pl-pl-puh…” She closed her eyes. 

“Okay,” said Christen. “How about we get you on your side, and you take a nap?” Tobin nodded. 

“W-with me?” she muttered. Christen and Matt worked to gently lay Tobin down and swing her legs around. 

“What, Tobs?” asked Christen.

“Y-you…bed…” Tobin stammered. Christen rolled Tobin, so they were facing each other. She adjusted Tobin’s bad arm and stuck a pillow between both of her arms. Tobin felt Matt wedge one under her back and between her knees. 

“You want me to lay with you?” Christen asked. Tobin nodded. Christen smiled and slipped in the bed in front of her. She leaned over and kissed the tip of Tobin’s nose. Tobin smiled. She reached out with her better arm and touched Christen’s face. She pulled Christen’s face forward. Tobin kissed her slowly and sloppily. Christen smiled into her mouth. “Every day, I wake up, and I’m so happy you’re here with me.”

“M-me t…oo,” said Tobin.

“I was so afraid I was going to lose you, Tobs,” Christen said. 

“’M h-here,” said Tobin. Christen kissed her forehead. 

“Rest. I’ll wake you up before speech therapy,” she said. Tobin closed her eyes….  
*************************************************************************************  
“She’s been having a bad day today,” said Christen. “I’m kind of worried. She’s been doing really well up until now.”

“The healing process isn’t perfect,” said a lady. “She’s going to have lots of ups and downs. She’s been gaining back lots of muscle strength. Her left arm and leg have nearly full range of motion. She’s gaining more muscle strength on her left side. She’s been getting a little better at object recognition. The only thing that’s a little concerning is her trouble talking and swallowing. But the rest of her is doing way better than can be expected.” 

Tobin’s head was on Christen’s chest. Her head still felt stuffy from sleep. She could only half pay attention to what her neurologist was saying. 

“Her pain is pretty bad today,” said Christen. She stroked Tobin’s hair. 

“We can work on helping her learn to manage her pain, but until then we can change or up her pain medication,” the lady said. Christen nodded. Tobin moved her head. 

“Looks like someone is awake,” said Christen. Tobin blinked. Christen leaned down and kissed her forehead. 

“H-hi,” said Tobin. She looked around. “W-where…?” Christen slid her hand over her hair.

“You’re in rehab, baby,” said Christen. “You hit your head.” Tobin tried to sit up. Christen sat forward and pushed her up. Tobin looked around. Her eyes stuck onto the doctor.

“Hi, Tobin. How are you feeling?” she asked. Tobin nodded slowly.

“Who…?” she asked. 

“I’m Dr. Reese,” said the doctor. “I’m your doctor managing your care here.” Tobin nodded again. She craned her neck to look at Christen. 

“H-home?” she said. Christen smiled sadly.

“Not yet, baby. But soon,” she said. Tobin tucked her nose in Christen’s shoulder. 

“H-home,” she said. “N-now.” Christen sniffled and kissed her forehead.

“Soon,” she said. “Dr. Reese is going to give you an exam.” Tobin looked at Dr. Reese and then back to Christen.

“No,” said Tobin. She pressed her face into Christen’s shoulder. “Sl-sle…ep t-time.” 

“Tobin,” said Christen. “C’mon. Cooperate with us.” Tobin glared at them. Christen untangled herself from Tobin. Tobin let out a low whine. “If you behave, we can go back to cuddling.” Tobin bit her lip. Tears welled up in her eyes. 

“N-n-no…n-no,” she said. “I-I w-wan’…” She reached out. Her hand shook. She tried to grab Christen’s shirt. Christen cupped her face. 

“Hey, I’m right here,” said Christen. “I’m not leaving. I’m just getting up, so Dr. Reese can examine you.” 

“N-no…” she said. Christen ran her hand up and down Tobin’s arm. “H-h…h—” 

“I can come back later,” said Dr. Reese. “Can you get her to calm down?” Christen nodded. Tobin trembled and squeezed her eyes shut. Her head throbbed. Her back and limbs ached. She sniffled. Christen slid back in bed next to her. She pulled her into her shoulder. 

“It’s okay,” said Christen. She rocked Tobin back and forth. “Deep breaths. Shh…” Christen rubbed circles on Tobin’s chest. “In and out.” Tobin shuddered. 

“I-I-I…” she started. Christen grabbed a tissue. 

“Shh…” said Christen. She pressed the tissue to her nose. “Blow.” Tobin snorted really hard. “Good, Tobin.” 

“H-home,” said Tobin. Nuh-nuh…eed home n-now. H-home.” Tobin buried her face in Christen’s shoulders. 

“I know you want to go home,” said Christen. “I know it’s hard to be here. I know you just want things to go back to the way that they were. But you need to get better, okay? You need to rest and listen to the doctors and try so hard. Please. Try hard for me. You have to get better, Tobin.” Christen sniffled. “God, she said. We’re such a mess.” Christen kissed Tobin on the forehead. “I love you so much. And we’re gonna get through this together, okay?


	4. Christen--Flashback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christen tries to figure out how to deal with all that has hapened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken me forever. Comments and kudos appreciated. 
> 
> (Yes, I made Alex an kind of asshole, but that seems pretty consistent with her real life behavior.)

Christen would not call the day that Tobin got injured the worst day of her life. She spent the day sobbing in numb denial. The day afterwards was the worst day of Christen’s life. They day when she woke up and realized it wasn’t a nightmare. And Allie and Alex took turns holding her as she cried.

“Hey. Shh…” said Allie. “Tobin will be okay. She’s tough, Christen.” Christen sniffled.

“She’s in a coma,” said Christen quietly. “Sh-she might not wake up…” She let out a shaky sob. Christen reached over and squeezed Tobin’s hand. “Please wake up, Toby.” 

“Hey,” said Allie. “She just needs a little rest. She’ll be fine.” Christen shook her head. 

“She looks so fragile…” said Christen. Tobin had dark circles and bruises on her face. The ventilator tube was not helping Christen feel much better. 

All of the sudden, Tobin’s body arched off the bed. Monitors pinged like pin-ball machines. 

“Tobin!” Christen’s mind screamed. No. No. No. No. No. Doctors and nurses ran in and started messing with the tubes and wires on Tobin’s body. “What’s happening? Help her! Please!” 

The doctors and nurses yelled out numbers. They secured her on her side. One of them began suctioning out her mouth. Another one grabbed one of the tubes coming out from her arm. He injected something into it. Her body went limp. After a moment, the machines stopped screaming. 

Dr. Baker turned to Christen. He sighed.

“That was a seizure. It’s her first since surgery. Unfortunately, she will likely have more,” he said. Christen stared at Tobin.

“That was awful,” she said. Dr. Baker nodded grimly. 

“With medication, it should be managed. This early into treatment, we are still trying to find the right dosage,” he said. Christen pushed herself from Allie’s arms and walked over to Tobin. She rubbed her jaw. 

“Hi there,” she said. “I know that was scary, but you’re okay…” Dr. Baker looked over at Allie, who shook her head. 

“This shouldn’t put a big hamper on her recovery. They still need to be minimized to prevent future damage and to help improve her quality of life…” Christen didn’t react. She traced Tobin’s cheekbone.  
************************************************************************************  
A few hours later, the machines went off again. Christen sprung up from the chair and looked around. Alex blinked awake. 

“What…?” she asked. Tobin’s forehead creased. Her left arm jerked. “Tobin…baby, are you awake?” Her shakily jerked up against the soft restraint cuff. 

“Oh God. Is she awake?” said Alex. She walked to Tobin’s other side. “She’s not supposed to be awake. I’m gonna…” Alex stumbled out.

“Hey, Tobin…” said Alex. Tobin opened her eyes. They immediately slammed shut. “It’s okay. Shh…” Christen grabbed the remote and dimmed the light. Tobin opened her eyes again. “There we go…” Her eyes darted around. Christen rubbed Tobin’s jaw. “It’s okay, baby. I love you.” She kissed Tobin’s forehead. Tobin’s pupils were huge. 

“Did she wake up?” asked Dr. Baker. He looked over at Tobin and glanced over at the machines. He knelt down in front of her. “Ms. Heath, Tobin…” Her eyes darted around. He got out a pen light and shined it in her eyes. Tobin clamped them shut. “Open your eyes for me, please, Ms. Heath.” Tobin blinked. Christen smiled. “That’s good. Follow the pen with your eyes…” Tobin’s eyes almost followed the pen. Christen laughed in relief. 

“Oh my God,” said Christen. Tobin’s eyes fell on Christen’s face. “Hi there…” Dr. Baker nodded. 

“These are some pretty positive signs,” he said. 

“Why is she awake?” asked Alex.

“Does she regularly take opioids?” asked Dr. Baker. Alex and Christen exchanged a look. 

“She does…a fair amount of weed in the off season,” said Christen. “And she took some pain killers when she injured her back a few months back.” The doctor nodded. 

“She might have developed a tolerance,” he said. He glanced over at the machines. “However, she’s not breathing on her own…” Christen squeezed Tobin’s hand. Tobin was still gazing up at her. Christen rubbed the back of her hand and smiled at her gently. 

“It’s okay,” Christen whispered. 

“It might be best if we give her some more sedative and have her rest for a little while,” he said.

“And if I don’t?” she asked. He shrugged. 

“It won’t change much,” he said. “She’s still on a pretty high dosage, and she’ll be pretty out of it.”

“Is she in pain?” asked Christen. 

“Mostly likely. She’s almost definitely disoriented and scared. She might get agitated,” he said. Christen nodded. “I would advise keeping her sedated until she can breathe on her own.” Christen nodded again. Tobin squeezed her hand again. Christen ran a hand through Tobin’s hair. 

“I love you,” she said. Tobin squeezed her hand again and looked at her with pleading eyes. “Tobin…” Tobin’s head snapped back and her whole body starts shaking. 

“Shit,” said Alex. Dr. Baker reached into a drawer and pulled out a syringe. He fiddled with the tubing and injected it in. 

“Is this normal…?” said Christen. “Is she going to be having seizures this often forever?” Dr. Baker scratched his head. 

“No,” he said. He looked at her chart. “I’m going to change her medication.” He changed something else. “She should be out for a while. You should get some rest…” He walked out. Christen buried her head in her hands. Alex walked over.

“Hey, hey, shh…” she said. Christen shook her head. 

“I don’t know how to do this, Alex,” she said. 

“Hey,” said Alex. “It will be fine. Tobin’s parents are on their way. So is Kelly. And you have Allie and me and…she’s Tobin…”

“You saw what just happened…” said Christen.

“I saw an asshole doctor who doesn’t know Tobin,” Alex said. Christen snorted. 

“I just don’t want her to be in pain or scared…” she said. Alex wrapped an arm around her. 

“I know,” she said. “But I think she’s going to be for a while.”

“I want to research this,” said Christen. “I want to know what to do when she wakes up, but I don’t wanna think about Tobin…not being Tobin.”

“She’ll still be Tobin,” said Alex. “Just, like…retarded Tobin.” Christen pulled away from her. 

“That’s not funny,” she said. Alex held up her hands.

“Sorry,” she said.

“You’re an ass,” said Christen. 

“I know,” said Alex. “Would punching me make you feel better?” Christen sniffled and gave her a watery smile. 

“Don’t tempt me.”


	5. Tobin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin has a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My life is kind of a mess right now. Sorry for the wait. 
> 
> As I am typing this, I am at the hospital. My mom just had surgery. I've been working 30 hours a week and have been taking 18 credit hours. I'm a little burnt out, honestly. 
> 
> I hope this chapter turned out okay, and I hope you guys like it. I'm probably going to continue my "not really hiatus" hiatus for the time being. I'll probably come back in Feb. But that's what I said about coming back in Jan. I dunno. This has always been one of the stories I have updated more slowly, so we'll see what happens,
> 
> Anyway, commetn and kudos to your heart's content.

Tobin blinked awake. She could feel a warm body cuddled up next to her. She moved closer. The body chuckled. 

“Morning.” Tobin opened her eyes. Her head was on Christen’s lap, and Christen’s hand threaded through her hair. Christen had a book opened over Tobin’s head. 

“W-whe…re?” said Tobin.

“You’re in rehab,” said Christen. “You hit your head. You’re okay now.” Tobin blinked. 

“H-hungry,” she said. Christen smiled. 

“Good to hear,” she said. “If you get off my lap, I can get some food.” Tobin shook her head and pressed it into Christen’s thigh. “Are you feeling better today?” Tobin shrugged. Christen smiled.

“H-head…hurts,” she said. “But…it’s okay.” Tobin looked up and gave Christen a shaky smile. Chirsten bent down and kissed her forehead. 

“We need to get some breakfast in you,” she said. “And you need a real shower.” Tobin looked up.

“You…me?” she said. Christen shook her head. 

“Yes…I am helping you shower,” she said. Tobin raised an eyebrow. “No. We are not doing anything other than showering in the shower.” Tobin pouted. “Yeah. It looks like you’re feeling better today.” She lifted Tobin’s head off of her lap. Tobin groaned. “I’ll be right back.” 

Tobin closed her eyes as she was put on the warm pillow. Her head throbbed, but it was dull. She had been too comfortable in the shadow of Christen. 

Christen came back in and put a hand on Tobin’s shoulder. 

“Come on,” she said. “We’re sitting up.” Tobin opened her eyes. Christen rolled her over, and Tobin winced. She pushed herself half way up. Christen raised her bed and helped her up the rest of the way. She’s pulls over a tray table. “Applesauce or pudding?” Tobin stares at the two cups on the table. Her brain seemed to short-circuit. Christen squeezed her left hand. “Point with your other hand and say it.” Tobin squeezed Christen’s hand. There was…the chocolate…and the apple thing. And they were both good. Tobin tugged at Christen’s hand. 

“I…” said Tobin. Her jaw clenched. “D-don’t…” Christen kissed the back of Tobin’s hand.

“You gotta choose, Tobin,” she said. Tobin shakily lifted her right hand and hit the table. Christen smiled at her encouragingly. Tobin grabbed the applesauce. She put it down. She picked up the pudding. She looked it over and put it down. A stabbing pain formed behind her left eye. Tobin swung her arm and knocked them both off of the table. Christen bit her lip and tried to look unfazed. “Or we could try something else.”

“P-pick,” Tobin said. Christen nodded. 

“Okay,” she said. She picked them up from the floor. She put the applesauce back on the table. “Is this good?” Tobin nodded and rubbed her forehead. Christen opened it and grabbed a spoon. “Open up.” Christen spooned some food into Tobin mouth. “Do you like it?” She nodded. Tobin relaxed into the pillow. 

“Allie is in town,” said Christen. “She wants to visit you.” Tobin shook her head. 

“N-have…ther…apy,” said Tobin.

“Are you using therapy as an excuse to not see Allie?” asked Christian. Tobin groaned. Christian smiled and shook her head. “Alright. We’ll see how you feel later.” Tobin ate another bite. “You have speech therapy after you shower.” Tobin squinted.

“N-noo…” she said.

“I know it’s hard, but you need to work on your thinking,” said Christen. Tobin shook her head. Focusing hurt. She rubbed her forehead. “I know it’s hard.” Tobin raised an eyebrow.

“Y-you don’,” she said. Christen froze. 

“You’re right,” she said. “I’m sorry.” Tobin nodded. 

“…’s okay,” she said. “It…hard…f-for both…of u-us….” Christen kissed her forehead. Tobin pressed her head against Christen’s lips. Christen rubbed Tobin’s jaw. Tobin leaned back. She reached out for spoon. Christen handed it to her. Tobin grabbed it and brought it up to her mouth. Christen supported her hand underneath.

“I’m really proud of you,” whispered Christen. Tobin made eye contact with her. “You’re doing so well.” Tobin shrugged and almost dropped the spoon. 

“I…I wanna…go h-home,” she said. “Get b-better…go…?”

“You’ll go home when your ready,” said Christen. Tobin scrunched her eyebrows. What did that mean? “Look at you, Tobs, you’re all done with breakfast!” Tobin looked down at the mostly empty cup and shrugged. 

“Shower?” asked Tobin. Christen nodded. 

“Yep,” she said. Christen threw the cup away. She bent down and started digging through the drawers. “It’s kind of cold today.”

“Does ‘t m-matter. N-no out…side,” said Tobin. Christen looked up. 

“Do you wanna go outside?” she asked. Tobin shrugged.

“Lot…people,” she said. Christen nodded. Tobin closes her eyes and leaned back. Christen pulled out some clothes. 

“Come on. Let’s get you up,” she said. Tobin opened her eyes and tried to scoot to the end of the bed. Christen put her hand on Tobin’s bad shoulder and knee and helped her moved until her legs hung over the side of the bed. Christen pulled Tobin onto the chair and Tobin let out a little grunt.

“Sorry, baby,” she said.

“”s okay,” she said. They got into the bathroom. Christen pulled off Tobin’s t-shirt and rubbed her side. She placed Tobin’s hands on her shoulder.

“Ready? And up,” said Christen. She hoisted Tobin up. Tobin’s right leg shook as Christen pulled down her pants and underwear and helped her back into the chair. Christen turned around to turn on the water. Tobin looked down at her awkwardly think frame and watched her muscles twitch. 

“’m I…hot?” asked Tobin. Christen laughed. Tobin shook her head. 

“No…d-do you…still..w-wanna be hot…with m-me?” stammered Tobin. Christen walked over and placed a kiss on Tobin’s head. 

“I am still attracted you,” said Christen. “You will always be beautiful to me.”

“Look…b-bad,” said Tobin. Christen shook her head. 

“No you don’t. You look like the woman I fell in love with. And I don’t wasn’t anyone talking bad about her,” she said. Tobin smiled, and Christen helped her in the shower. 

In the warm water, Tobin’s muscles relaxed. The tightness in her shoulder and hip dissolved. She let out a barely less than erotic moan. Christen smiled watching Tobin relax against the shower chair. She ran her fingers through her hair, massaging Tobin’s scalp. Gave Christen a goofy grin and Christen dapped some bubbles on the end of her nose.

Today was going to be a good day.


	6. Christen-flashback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys. Another chapter. This one is really angsty to make up for all that fluff in the last one. 
> 
> I always wanna hear your comments and shit  
> and
> 
> hey, thanks.

“Christen…” said Ashlyn. Christen didn’t look up. “Allie is here to take you home.” Christen shook her head. She tightened her grip on Tobin’s hand. “Christen, you need some sleep. And a shower, man.” Christen rubbed the back of Tobin’s hand. 

“What if she wakes up?” Christen said into Tobin’s hand. 

“That’s why Ali and I are here,” said Ashlyn. She rubbed Christen’s shoulders. 

“What if she doesn’t recognize you? I need to be here,” said Christen. 

“You know what the doctor said. She’s not aware of much right now. We’ll be able to calm her down,” said Ashlyn. Christen shook her head.

“Don’t make me leave…” she said quietly. Ashlyn wrapped her arms her shoulders.

“I know you don’t wanna leave,” Ashlyn said. “I’m so sorry, but you know that Tobin would want you to go home.” Christen bit her lip. 

“I don’t care what Tobin wants,” she said. “She needs me.” Ashlyn squeezed her shoulders. 

“She does need you,” said Ashlyn. “And she needs you healthy.” Tobin let out a soft groan. Her arm jerked. Her neck flexed. Christen moved onto the bed and shushed her. She leaned over Tobin and rubbed the back of Tobin’s neck. Ashlyn reached over and grabbed Tobin’s now free hand. She squeezed it. “We got her.” Christen shook her head. 

“No,” she said. Tobin groaned again. “Tobs, baby, shh…I’m here. I’m here…” Tobin blinked slowly. Here eyes darted around, unfocused. Christen broke into a grin. “There she is. Hi, baby.” Tobin’s eyes continued darting around the room. Christen’s hand came up and rubbed her cheek. She looked over at Christen. Christen gave her a watery smile. Tobin looked around. Her twitched. “How do you feel, love?” Her arms reached up and clawed at Christen’s hoodie sleeve. Ashlyn let go of her hand and rubbed Tobin’s knee. Christen kissed the corner of Tobin’s mouth. 

“I’ll give you guys a minute,” said Ashlyn. She walked out. Tears dripped down Tobin’s face.

“Baby, does it hurt?” asked Christen. The muscles in Tobin’s throat bobbed up and down. She let out a low whine. Christen pressed the call button. “I’ll get a nurse. We’ll get you something. How about that, huh?” Tobin squeezed Christen’s wrist again. “What do you need?” Tobin stared at her. Tobin made a low groan. 

“Uh…ah…I-I…” said Tobin. Christen smiled at her. 

“It’s okay,” she said. She rubbed Tobin’s cheek. 

A nurse walked in.

“How is everyone feeling?” she asked. Tobin squeezed Christen’s wrist. 

“She’s in pain,” said Christen. The nurse looked at the monitors. 

“What’s the matter?” she said. Tobin groaned. “Her blood pressure is a little high.” The nurse grabbed a laminated card from the corner of the room and put it on Tobin’s lap. It had several faces in various phases of frowning. “Can you point to how you feel?” Tobin looked down. Christen guided her good hand to her lap. “Are you okay?” She pointed to the face to the left. “Or does it hurt a lot.” She pointed to the one at the right. Tobin looked at it. She dragged her arm to the left side. SHe stopped around the 8. The nurse nodded. 

“I’ll get you something for it,” she said. She walked out of the room. Tobin sniffled and tears driped down her face.

“Tobs, it’s okay,” she said. “You’ll feel better in a second.” 

The door opened again. Dr. Baker stood in the door.

“How’s everything going?” he asked. 

“Tobin woke up again,” Christen said. “She’s a little upset.” Tobin pulled on Christen’s arm again. Christen kissed her on the forehead and shushed her. “You’ll get your medicine in a second, take a deep breath.” 

“Alright,” said Dr. Baker. “I’ll give her a quick nuero exam.” He pulled out his pen light and flashed it in her eyes. Tobin looked away.

“Tobin. Please behave,” said Christen. Tobin buried her face in the pillow. She let out a strangled sob. “Ohh, shh…” Christen leaned down and kissed her jaw. Dr. Baker pulled back the blanket. He grabbed her right leg. Tobin whined. 

“I need to check her reflexes,” he said. Tobin shook her head. Dr. Baker tapped something against the bottom of her foot. Tobin’s body tried to jerk away. He held her foot. He started pushing it in towards her chest. She let out of loud cry and clawed at Christen’s shirt.

“Okay, okay,” she said. She rubbed her shoulder. Dr. Baker pushed her knee to her chest. Tobin whined. 

“Do we have to do this now?” asked Christen. Dr. Baker nodded. 

“It’s better to do it now,” he said. “We need to see how much movement she has to come up with a recover plan.” Christen bit her lip and nodded. 

Tobin was still crying. Christen shushed her again.

“I’m so sorry,” said Christen. “It’s okay, baby.” Tobin shook her head and made a low guttural moan. “Is it supposed to hurt this much?” 

“The brain injury has caused her muscles to tense. It makes them weak and stiff,” he said. “It should resolve with intensive therapy.” Christen couldn’t imagine putting Tobin through this again. Tobin stared at her, her eyes begging for it to stop. “Time for the other leg.” This one was worse. Christen didn’t know what to do. She leaned down and kissed her on the lips. Tobin reacted immediately. Her body relaxed and her arm let go of Christen’s sleeve and grabbed the front of her shirt. Christen could still feel the tears on her face. 

“I’m so sorry,” said Christen into her mouth. Tobin pulled harder. She started kissing down Tobin’s neck. She knew it was inappropriate, but Tobin relaxed a little. Christen leaned back. She looked over at the doctor. Dr. Baker had let go of her leg. 

“It’s times for the arms now,” he said. Tobin sobbed again. She went to scoot away. 

“Tobin,” said Christen. “Please…” Tobin tried to roll away and screamed again. 

“Ehh…ahh…” said Tobin. All of the sudden, her head snapped back. 

“Fuck,” said Christen. Dr. Baker slammed a button over the bed. 

“She’s seizing,” he said. Ashlyn ran in. A nurse pulled her and Christen out. 

“No!” yelled Christen. Ashlyn grabbed her around the middle. 

“It’s okay,” she said. “It’s okay. You know how strong Tobin is. She’ll be okay.” Christen let out her own sob. 

“I know,” said Ashlyn. “I know. I’m so sorry.” Christen curled into Ashlyn’s chest. 

“Ash…I can’t…I can’t do this,” she said.


	7. Tobin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin Hates Therapy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **shows up a month late with Starbucks and a new chapter** Sorry guys enjoy

Tobin pushed her nose against Christen’s shoulder. Christen set her Tobin down in her wheelchair. 

“Comfy?” Christen asked. Tobin nodded. Christen leaned Tobin’s head back up against the head rest. She tucked the blanket around Tobin’s lap. 

“Ready for therapy?” asked Christen. Tobin raised an eyebrow. 

“W-will you…l-leave?” she said. Christen pushed strands of hair behind her ear. 

“Not if you pay attention,” said Christen. “But if you can’t pay attention, I’m going to go and take a walk.” Tobin’s jaw twitched. She nodded slowly. Christen kissed her forehead. Tobin leaned into her warmth.   
“C-chris…” she said. Tobin smiled at her. 

“Yes, baby,” she said. The door opened. Tobin looked over.

“Hi, Tobin,” said her… Tobin squeezed her eyes shut. 

“No…” mumbled Tobin. Christen pushed Tobin from her chest and pushed her up to the table. She kissed the top of Tobin’s head. 

“I’ll be right here,” she said. Tobin followed her from the corner of her eyes. The…speech therapist, that’s the word, sat across from Tobin. She closed her eyes.

“Tobin,” said the therapist. Tobin opened her eyes. “How are you feeling?” Tobin bit her lip and shrugged. “Words please.” 

“M’k…” mumbled Tobin. The therapist smiled. 

“That’s good,” she said. “Did you have breakfast today?” Tobin squeezed her eyes shut. 

“N-no?” she said. She looked over at Christen. Christen bit her lip. “I-I-” 

“Look at me,” said the therapist. Tobin looked back at her. “What did you do today?” Tobin looked over at Christen. Christen shook her head.

“Tobin…” she said. Tobin blinked. “Tobin, focus for me.” Tobin’s eyes drifted back to the therapist. The therapist smiled at her. 

“Alright,” she said. She put some flashcards on the table in front of Tobin. “So let’s do some work…what’s this?” Tobin looked down at the card and looked up at Christen. The therapist tapped the table. “Look here, Tobin.” Tobin stared down and shifted, trying to allay the dull ache in her hips. 

Tobin knew what it was. It was a thing that took you places. A big thing. She stared at the picture and pressed her hand over her eye. The therapist pulled her hand from her eye. 

“No, Tobin. Tell me what it is,” she said. Tobin looked over at Christen and bit her lip. Tobin let out a small whine. Christen walked over and kissed Tobin’s forehead. 

“I’ll see you later, baby,” she said. “I love you.” Tobin let out a low whine.

“N-no,” she said. She reached out. 

“I love you, Tobin. Be good for me,” Christen said. Tobin bit her lip. “I’ll be right back.” Tobin smacked the table. 

“Chris…” she said. 

“She’ll be back when you’re done, Tobin,” said the therapist. Tobin’s chin quivered. “Shh…you’re okay. Can we try again or you need a minute?”   
“N-need C-chris-ten,” said Tobin. The therapist shushed her again and brought over a cup of water. “Take a sip.” Tobin took a couple shaky breaths and took a sip. “Good. Now let’s try again. What is this?” The headache was getting worse. Tobin took another breath.

“C-car,” she said. The therapist smiled.

“Nice try, Tobin. It’s a train,” she said. “Can you say train?”

“Tr-train,” Tobin grunted. 

“Next one.” She flipped the card. It was a thing. A thing that went in a room. Tobin shook her head. 

“Ow…”

“It’s a table, Tobin,” she said. “Can you try?” 

“T-ta-t-tab-b,” Tobin said. She bit her lip and pushed on her eye again. 

“Done, please,” she said. The therapist nodded. 

“That was a nice try,” she said. “How about you try again?” Tobin bit her lip and shook her head. She sniffled. 

“Christen,” whispered Tobin. She turned away and pushed her nose into the pillow. 

“Soon,” said the therapist. “Would you like to try something a little different?” Tobin shook her head.

“No,” she said. 

“Do you want to keep doing this?” asked the therapist.

“No,” said Tobin.

“You have to pick one, Tobin,” she said. Tobin squeezed her eyes shut. The therapist sat there and waited. “It’s okay, Tobin. Take your time.” Tobin closed and squeezed her good fist. 

“I-I d-don’t…” Tobin closed her eyes and leaned her head back. She gulped. “Y-you choose…” The therapist gently rubbed her arm.

“Take a deep breath,” she said. Tobin sighed. 

“A-ask…Chris…ten,” she said. The therapist smiled. 

“That’s one way to get out of making that decision,” she said. She looked at Tobin’s phone. “Christen thinks that we should do something different. How about we read?”  
***

Tobin groaned.   
“Alright,” said the therapist. “We’re done. You did very good, Tobin. I’m very proud of you. I’ll be telling Christen.” Tobin pushed her hand into her eye and pressed her head back against the pillow. Her head throbbed incredibly. 

“Christen,” she mumbled. The therapist nodded. 

“I’ll go and get her. She’ll be over in a second.” The therapist left. Tobin sighed deeply. The pain radiated down from behind her eye to her head and down her neck. The right side of her body ached. She sniffled. Her arm twisted into her side. God, this was it. 

And then Christen appeared over her. 

“Hi there, baby,” she said. Tobin groaned. Christen disappeared from Tobin’s vision again. Tobin whined. “I’ll be back in one second. Shh…” Christen walked back over with a cloth in her hand. She pressed the cloth to her forehead. The coolness eased the throb. “How about you take a nice nap, Tobs?” Tobin shook her head. “Tobin, you’re in pain. Try to rest.” Tobin shook her head. She pulled on Christen’s shirt. Christen leaned down and gave her a soft kiss on the lips. “I’ll be right here, Tobin. You don’t need to stay awake.” Tobin shook her head again. 

“H-Head hurts-s,” she said. Christen bit her lip. 

“I know, baby,” she said. “Just rest and it will help you feel a lot better.” Christen flipped the cloth over. She gently rubbed the base of Tobin’s neck. Tobin tried to move away. “Lay still, let me help.” 

The door opened. Tobin whined and squeezed her eyes shut. 

“Hey, Christen. Hey, Tobin….” Alex froze in the frame of the door. She turned to Christen. “Is she okay?” Christen shushed Tobin and nodded. Alex walked over to the bed. She rubbed Tobin’s knee. “Hey, man. How are you?” she said slowly. Tobin squeezed her eyes shut. “Alright. You’re okay.” Christen massaged up Tobin’s neck. “Is her headache back?” Christen nodded. 

“She was doing so well too,” said Christen. “Yesterday was really rough, but today seemed like such a big improvement…” Alex gave Christen a one armed hug. 

“Hey. She’s doing way, way better than she was even a couple weeks ago. This new facility is great. She just needs a little time,” said Alex. Christen pulled the cloth off Tobin’s head. “Want me to do it?” Christen shook her head. 

“Watch her a second,” she said. She got up. Tobin blinked. 

“Hey, hey,” said Alex. “It’s okay. I got you.” Tobin made eye contact with Alex. She kept it for barely a second before looking away uncomfortably. Tobin bit her lip and looked away. “Do, um, do you want to get into bed?” Tobin nodded jerkily.

“Y-yes,” she said. “P-plea-se.” Alex nodded and unbuckled the seatbelts across Tobin’s waist and pushed the chair right un to the bed and lowered it. 

“Uh…” said Alex. “Do you need me to…” Tobin grabbed on Alex’s arm to pull herself up. Alex put a hand on her back. Tobin stood up at full height. Her and Alex made eye contact. Alex smirked at her. “Look at you…” Tobin fell down into the bed. Electricity zinged up her spine. 

“Oww…” Alex froze.

“Shit. Tobs, are you okay?” said Alex. Thankfully, Christen walked in. She handed Alex the cloth and an ice pack. 

“Alright, Tobin. Are you okay?” she said. Tobin moaned. Christen braced under Tobin’s neck and her knees. She sat her up against the back of the bed. She propped a pillow under her neck and under Tobin’s bad arm and knee. Christen kissed Tobin’s forehead and pressed the ice pack to her head. She laid down next to Tobin and kissed her cheek.

“Good night,” Christen said. Tobin closed her eyes.


	8. Christen-Flashback

“What do you mean she’s ready to moved to rehab?” Christen demanded. Dr. Baker rubbed his forehead.

“Ms. Press, I’ve told you before. She’s stable and she can follow simple commands. Her seizures are mostly under control. We can’t do anything else for her here,” he said. Christen shook her head. She slid her hand through Tobin’s hair, avoiding the small bald patch where the drain had been. “We took the drain out several days ago and her pressure is holding steady…Ms. Press, she’s ready.” Christen bit her lip and nodded. 

“Okay,” she said. She rubbed across Tobin’s cheek bone. “If that’s what you think.” 

“The hospital has a rehab center not too far from here. It’s one of the best in the state,” he said. “There are others that I can suggest. I can get you some pamphlets.” Christen nodded. “The rehab will focus on increasing her range of motion, helping her regain her speech, working to overcome her cognitive problems, and managing any pain and dizziness she may have.” Christen nodded again,=. 

“That sounds good,” she said. Dr. Baker nodded.

“I’ll give you some time,” he said. “She should be good to leave by Monday.” Dr. Baker left. Allie walked over and squeezed Christen’s hand.

“It’ll be okay,” said Allie. Christen nodded into her shoulder. 

“I have seeing her like this,” said Christen. Allie nodded.

“I know,” she said. “We’re all scared.” 

“I don’t like that she’s hurting,” Christen said. “I don’t like that she can’t tell me what’s wrong…” 

Tobin opened her eyes. Christen gave her a watery smile. 

“Hi there, baby,” she whispered. Tobin blinked slowly. She lifted her head up and fell back against the bed. She let out a small whine. Christen shushed her.

“It’s okay,” she said. “Relax. I know you’re scared, but I got you, Tobin.” Tobin whined again. She tried to look around, but her head flopped uselessly to the side. She let out a panicked noise. Christen shushed her. Christen carded her hand through Tobin’s hair. “I’m here, Tobin. You’re okay. Deep breaths for me, baby. You’re in the hospital. You got a little hurt.” Tobin squeezed her eyes shut and opened them again. She touched her chin to her chest.

“Ow…” she said. Christen lifted her chin back up. 

“I know it hurts, baby. Don’t move too much,” she said. Tobin blinked again and swallowed weakly. 

“M-m…” she said. Christen continued to give her a sad smile. 

“I’m here, baby,” Christen said. “Your mom is around. She’s at the apartment. Do you want me to get her?” Tobin sniffled. She let out another whine. “What wrong, Tobs, hmm?” Christen traced Tobin’s jaw. Tobin’s eyes darted around. Christen shook her head. “I don’t know what you need…” 

The door opened, and Christen wiped her nose. The nurse walked in. 

“Hi, Christen. Hi, Tobin,” she said. Tobin’s eyes darted over to the nurse. She let out a throaty noise. The nurse smiled at her and logged onto the computer. Christen nodded. 

“Hi, Anne,” she said. 

“How are you?” Christen squeezed Tobin’s hand. “Vitals are good. And look, no seizures last night. Look at you.”

“Is it time for her pain meds?” asked Christen. Anne looked over.

“Not for more than an hour, no. Why?” she said. Christen looked down at Tobin. 

“I, um, it’s…something is wrong,” said Christen lamely. Anne nodded. 

“Honestly, as we lower her pain meds, she’ll become more aware of herself. She should start to realize that something isn’t right. It will be scary, but it’s okay. It’s part of the healing process,” she said. Christen nodded. 

“She’s so tense. She’s in so much pain,” she said. She kissed the back of Tobin’s hand. Tobin looks over at her. “I love you.” Anne smiled at them. 

“Honestly, physical contact is the best thing for her. That and rest. The kind of brain injury she has causes muscles to tense. You can give her a nice massage, try to help her relax,” said Anne. 

“I don’t want to hurt her…” said Christen. Anne smiled. 

“I can show you,” she said. “It’s time for Tobin’s bath now anyway.” Tobin looked between Christen and Anne.

“N-n…” she said. Christen squeezed her hand again. The nurse started setting up basins. Tobin tilted her head over to look at it. She let out a whine again. Christen sat at the edge of Tobin’s bed and pulled her into her chest. Tobin moaned again. Christen sat still to let Tobin adjust. Then she ran her hand through Tobin’s hair. She pulled it back into a high bun. She went to put Tobin back. She felt some resistance and looked down. Tobin’s good hand was fisting part of her shirt. Christen tapped her hand. 

“Tobs, can you let go?” said Christen. Tobin pressed her face into Christen’s neck. Christen sighed and rubbed Tobin’s back. “Alright. I got you.” Tobin sniffled. “Baby, we’re just going to help you clean off. It won’t hurt. You’ll feel so much better.” Tobin still didn’t move. Christen looked over at Anne and sighed. Anne smiled at her and shook her head. 

“C-ch…” said Tobin. Christen tapped Tobin’s wrist. Tobin let go. Christen leaned her back. She got up and unfurled a blanket out and tucked it under another blanket. She slid her arms out of the arm holes of the gown. Anne came back in with a small basin. 

“Bath time,” said Anne. Tobin looked away and shook her head. Anne handed a towel to Christen. Christen wiped down Tobin’s face. Tobin whined again and jerked her head away. Christen braced the back of Tobin’s head. 

“Relax, baby. Let me clean you up,” she said.

“N-n…” said Tobin. “No…” Christen shushed her and finished wiping off her face. Anne started washing off Tobin’s arm. Tobin bit her lip and looked away. Christen shook her head. She rubbed Tobin’s forehead. 

“Relax, baby,” she said. “You’ll get better soon, okay?”


	9. Tobin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin gets a day pass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally going to make this one chapter, but it was going to be a decent length so I decided to make you suffer and split it. (read as: I'm not going to be able to finish this in a decent amount of time so I decided not to make you wait) So ta da. This part is going to be much fluffier. (Which doesn't mean much considering how angsty this story is, but it's something)

“Wakey, wakey, Tobs.” Tobin groaned. Someone ripped her blanket off of her. Tobin groaned louder. “Sorry, but we have plans, Toby.”

“N-no…Toby…” said Tobin. She opened her eyes. Allie was standing over her, smirking. 

“Hey, bud,” she said. Tobin squinted at her. “So…I got you a day pass. And we’re going to go home and surprise Christen.” Tobin lifted her head. 

“Home?” she asked. Allie smiled sadly.

“Only for the afternoon,” said Allie. Tobin blinked.

“H-home,” she said. Allie shook her head. 

“Yeah. Home, Harry. And you and Christen are going to go on a date,” she said. Tobin shook her head. 

“No,” she said. Allie nodded. 

“Yes,” she said. “it’s be fun.” Tobin shook her head. A pain was starting to form behind her eye. She could go home, but then she had to go out. Or…she could stay…

“Come on,” said Allie. “You’re going to be in your chair for a while, so I’m going to help you stretch out, okay?” Tobin groaned. Allie rubbed Tobin’s shoulders. “C’mon. On your back.” Allie helped Tobin roll onto her back. Allie leaned over and started rubbing Tobin’s shoulder and upper arm on her good arm. “Relax. Loosen up.” Allie shook out her arm. Tobin grimaced. “Breakfast after this, then shower, okay?” Tobin nodded. 

“N-neck hurts,” said Tobin. Allie nodded.

“I can get you a heating pack while you’re eating. We need to be at the house by 11,” said Allie. Tobin looked at the clock. 8:00. “Are you okay with having me stretch out your right or do you want a nurse to do it?” Tobin knew how long it took her to get ready.

“Y-you c-can…” said Tobin. Allie nodded.

“Thanks for trusting me, Harry,” she said. Tobin nodded again. Allie let go of her left arm. “That feel good?” Tobin lifted it up and flexed he fist. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She gave Allie a thumbs up. Allie grinned.

“I’ll do your leg now,” said Allie. Tobin braced herself. 

“Your legs hurt more than your arms?” she asked. Tobin shrugged and moved her hand back and forth. Allie nodded. Tobin closed her eyes and breathed deeply through her nose. “Let me know if you need me to stop.” Tobin nodded. Allie bent her leg to her chest. Tobin groaned. “Okay?”

“S-sore,” she said. Allie nodded. She walked over to her right side.

“I’ll be gentle,” she said. Tobin bit her lip. Allie flexed her arm. She groaned. “Sorry. Sorry.”

“J-just…do it,” said Tobin. She clenched her teeth and pressed her head into the pillow. Allie rotated Tobin’s stiff shoulder. Tobin bit her lip and tried not to cry.   
***  
Allie pulled a shirt over Tobin’s head. 

“You look good,” Allie said. Tobin’s mouth twitched. Allie stepped behind her and brushed her hair. Tobin’s eyes darted from her reflection to the counter. “You can’t see the scar anymore.” She ran her fingers through the short hair. “It’s almost completely grown back.” Tobin nodded. She pulled up Tobin’s hair into a ponytail and squeezed her shoulder. Allie sat down and put Tobin’s foot on her leg. She pulled up her sock and strapped a plastic brace on and slipped her shoes on over it. She did the same with her other foot. 

“Alright. You ready, Harry?” she said. Tobin nodded. She pushed Tobin’s chair down the hall. Tobin tried not to bounce with giddiness. She rarely went outside anymore. As much as she hated running into people, she loved the feeling of the sun kissing her skin and the smell of grass. 

Allie pushed her outside and down the ramp. Tobin let out a sigh. 

“Happy to be outside?” she asked. Tobin nodded. 

“I m-miss…it,” she said. 

“You know if you ask someone to take you outside, they will,” Allie said. Tobin closed her eyes and shrugged. Allie pushed her down the parking lot to her car. Tobin undid her seatbelt.

“Want me to, um, lift you in there?” said Allie. Tobin shrugged. “Can you get yourself in the car or not? You gotta tell me, Tobin.” Tobin nodded. 

“Help…m-me,” she said. Allie nodded. She scooped Tobin under her legs and put her in the car. She put the wheelchair in the car. Tobin pulled the seatbelt over her lap. Her hand slipped and the belt snapped back. She groaned. Allie stuck her head around and reached to put the belt on.

“No…” whined Tobin. Allie pulled out the seatbelt and gave Tobin the slack. It took far too long for her to click it in the other end. 

“Alright, Harry,” said Allie. She got into the front. She pulled out and went down the street.

“This is your first time in a regular car since the accident,” said Allie. Tobin nodded and closed her eyes. The motion of the car used to clam her, but now it made her stomach lurch. Allie rubbed her knee. 

“We’re not too far. Hang in there.” Tobin nodded and swallowed the bile coming up in her throat. She coughed weakly. “Take it easy.” It took far too long for the car to get into Christen’s driveway. 

Allie opened the door and took the wheelchair out. She helped Tobin into her chair. She buckled Tobin into her chair. 

“I’ll help you get in and over the bumps,” she said. Tobin nodded again. Allie pushed her up to the porch and got her over the bumps. Allie unlocked the door and pushed her in. Tobin took a deep breath. It smelled like home.


	10. Christen-present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin and Christen date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to give you a Christen present chapter because I feel super bad for making you guys wait so long. It's also a little longer.

Christen blinked awake and reached over. When she felt a warm body, her stomach jumped. She opened her eyes.

“Morning, sleeping beauty.” Alex looked down and smirked at her. 

“What…?” said Christen, pushing herself up off the bed. 

“Relax. You had a nightmare,” said Alex. She looked back down at her phone. Christen looked over at her phone. 

“It’s eleven?” said Christen. She jumped out of bed.

“Allie’s with Tobin,” said Alex. Christen stopped. 

“Allie…?”

“Allie Long,” she said. “You need a break.” Christen flopped back into bed. She sighed and rubbed her face. 

“I should text Allie,” said Christen. Alex glanced up again.

“No, you shouldn’t. She’s fine,” she said. “Take a shower or something. We’re gonna go out later.” Christen got up slowly. “Don’t look at me so suspicious.” Christen rolled her eyes and walked to the bathroom. She opened the water and tried to let the hot water relax her tense muscles. She not to think about Tobin wondering where she is. 

She stepped out of the shower and put on some sweatpants and a shirt that still smelled like Tobin. She walked back into the bedroom. She sighed and sat down back on the bed. She put her head on Alex’s lap. Alex slid a hand through her hair and patted her butt. She heard a noise in the living room. 

“Is someone else here?” asked Christen. Alex looked down. Before she could say anything else, she heard the whirr of an electric motor. She could barely lift her head up before the chair stopped at the door. 

“Hi…’m home.” Christen sat up. 

“Tobin.” She smiled, relief washed over her face. “Hi, baby.” She walked over and gave Tobin a soft kiss on the lips. “Look at you. What are you doing here?” Tobin was making a little bit of a face. Christen rubbed the crease on her forehead. “Does your head hurt?” Tobin shook her head. She looked over at Alex. Christen rubbed the back of Tobin’s neck. “I’m so happy you’re here.” She looked over at Allie. 

“I got her a day pass, and you guys some reservations at an Italian restaurant,” she said. Christen beamed. There were tears in her eyes. She wiped her nose. 

“Thanks, Allie,” she said. She looked back at Tobin. “I love you.” Tobin nodded and gave a tight grin. “Are you ready to go out or do you wanna sit for a minute?” Tobin blinked.

“Sit,” said Tobin. She leaned her head back and squeezed her eyes shut. Christen rubbed the back of Tobin’s neck. 

“Relax,” she said. She kissed Tobin’s forehead. Tobin smiled weakly. Christen kissed her forehead again and buried her face in Tobin’s hair. She took a deep breath trying to take in Tobin’s shampoo. She let out a shaky breath.

“C-chris?” said Tobin. Christen shook her head. 

“I didn’t think I would see you in this house again,” said Christen. She sniffled. Tobin patted Christen’s arm. “God, I love you, Tobin.” 

“L-love you…too,” said Tobin. Christen kissed her on the forehead again. Tobin closed her eyes. 

“Do you wanna lay down on the couch?” said Christen. “We can nap a little before we go.” Tobin swallowed. “Does your head hurt baby? Here, we can rest.” Christen pushed her chair all the way into the room. Alex got up and rubbed Tobin’s shoulder. She shut the door behind her and Allie.

Christen grabbed the seatbelt. 

“Can I…?” asked Christen. Tobin nodded. Christen unlatched it. She put her hand on Tobin’s waist. Tobin shook her head. 

“N-no,” said Tobin. Christen raised an eyebrow. “I…” she swallowed “I c-can do…it.” Christen nodded. 

“Okay,” she said. Tobin lifted herself up with shaky arms and plopped down on the bed. Christen broke out into a grin. She jumped in bed after her, shaking the bed. Tobin giggled. Christen rolled over and pressed her nose in Tobin’s shoulder. She kissed her neck. 

“I l-love you,” said Tobin. Christen leaned over and kissed her on the lips. 

“I love you too,” she said.  
***  
Christen was confused when she woke up in her own bed in the middle of the day. She rolled over. Tobin was awake, grinning at her. 

“Did you sleep okay?” she said. Tobin shrugged and nodded. Christen ran a hand over her jaw. “I’ve missed this. I missed waking up next to you in a bed that we have enough room to be comfortable in.” Tobin smirked. 

“Me…too,” she said. Christen sat up.

“Are you ready to go?” she said. Tobin nodded. Christen got up. Tobin dragged herself into the chair.

The walk to the restaurant was quiet. Christen’s hand rested on Tobin’s unmoving hand on the arm of her wheelchair. 

“What do you wanna do after we eat? Do wanna try to go to the beach? Or the park? Or the movies?” she said. 

“M-movie night…” said Tobin. “At home. O-on the pr-projector. Outside?” Christen nodded.

“That sounds good,” she said. There was another silence as they walked up to the restaurant. Christen didn’t really pay attention as they went into the restaurant and were lead to their seats. Christen opened up her menu. Tobin stared at Christen. 

“So what are you thinking? Do you want spaghetti, ravioli—” 

“A-are we…going to…have—have sex?” asked Tobin. Christen stopped and looked at her over the menu. 

“Do you want to?” she asked. Tobin shrugged. 

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” she said. Tobin looked up at her. 

“I d-do,” she said. “K-kind of.” Christen nodded. 

“We can talk about it when we get home, okay?” she said. Tobin looked away and bit her lip. Christen put her hand over Tobin’s. “Hey, look at me.” She looked up. “I love you. I still find you amazingly sexy. I just don’t want to hurt you. I’m not telling you no. But I don’t know if that’s a good thing to do with your seizures.” Tobin nodded. “But later, okay?” Tobin nodded. 

“Okay,” she said. 

“I love you,” said Christen. She leaned forward and kissed Tobin on the lips. 

Christen ordered a family platter for both of them. 

“Open up, baby,” she said. She spooned some into Tobin’s mouth before taking some for herself. Christen smiled at her. Out of the corner of her eye, Christen saw an older couple whispering and looking at Tobin. 

“W-wanna…gotoagame…” said Tobin. Christen turned to look at her.

“What?” she said. Tobin took a deep breath. “I know you don’t wanna stutter. I’m proud of you for trying. But I can’t understand you when you mumble.” 

“I…w-want to…go to a g-game,” she said. “Th-thorns game…please.” Christen blinked at her. 

“Really? Isn’t it going to make you sad?” she said. Tobin shrugged. She pushed her nose against Christen’s neck and sighed. 

“Miss s-soccer,” she said. Christen nodded and sighed. She rubbed Tobin’s cheek. 

“Okay. We can go,” she said. They shared another bite. “You know people will be staring.” Tobin chewed thoughtfully. 

“I—” Food fell out of Tobin’s mouth. Christen reached to catch it with a napkin. She lifted up the straw to Tobin’s mouth. She took a sip. 

“It’s alright,” she said. 

“D-don’t w-want to be…stare…miss…t-the pitch…” Tobin said. Christen shushed her. She tried to spoon some more food into Tobin’s mouth. She jerked back and shook her head. Christen ate some herself. 

“I know you just want to be left alone,” she said. “We can try to hide but…”

“Pr-protect m-me?” said Tobin. Christen smiled and kissed her nose. 

“Always, baby,” she said. “Always.”


	11. Tobin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Date night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update. I've been busy with work and finals, but now that summer's here I'm going to be able to update way more often. I'm going to try for every week, but no promises.
> 
> Enjoy!

When they got back to the house, Alex had set up the project in the yard and left for the night. Christen smiled at her. 

“We’re alone…” she said. Tobin grinned. Christen helped her lay out in the hammock in the yard. Christen jumped in after her. The hammock shook and swung violently. Tobin giggled. Christen kissed her forehead and started the movie. 

Tobin couldn’t do anything but stare at Christen. She looked beautiful, but something about her was off. She looked tired. It looked like she had a few gray hairs and more soft wrinkle lines in her forehead. She looked the most relaxed that Tobin had seen her since she had woken up from the accident. Tobin touched her forehead to Christen’s. Christen looked over at her and smirked. She kissed Tobin gently on the lips. 

“I’ve been missing this,” she said. 

“M-me too,” said Tobin. “Don’t…wanna g-go b-back.” 

“You need to go back. You need to get better, Tobin,” said Christen. 

“Want to g-get…wanna get…better at home,” said Tobin. Christen smiled sympathetically.

“I know. I do too,” she said. “That’s what this weekend is. It’s a trial. If you can do well, then you’ll be able to come home for real. Speaking of which…” Christen got up. Tobin whined. “I’m getting your medicine. I’ll be right back.” 

Christen came back with three needless syringes. She reached for the feeding tube behind Tobin’s ear. 

“Just relax,” she said, smiling. “I got you.” Tobin nodded. Christen attached the syringes one after the other. “All good?” Tobin nodded. Christen laid back down. “You’ve gotten so much better.” She gulped. “I never could have dreamed you would get back to me. I missed you so much.” Tobin reached over and pulled Christen to her lips. Christen reached to cup her face. Pain shot down the back of Tobin’s neck as she leaned forward. Tobin’s head dropped back. Christen looked concerned. 

“B-bed…bed…r-room,” said Tobin. Christen slipped her arms under Tobin and carried her bridal style back into the house. She reached the bedroom and put Tobin down. She straddled Tobin and leaned down over her. The pressure of Christen on the bed made Tobin’s stomach dropped. Tobin tried to ignore her the dizziness that threatened to overwhelm her. The bed was too squishy. Her shoulder felt pinched under her. Even the slight pressure Christen put on her was too much. Pain shot up the back of her neck. She squeezed Christen’s arm and turned her face away. Christen sat back on her heels. 

“What’s wrong?” said Christen. 

“Off,” said Tobin. Christen sat back off of her. 

“Tobin…?” she asked. Tobin was leaning over the side of the bed, breathing hard. 

“D-d…di-dizzy,” she said. 

“I’m so sorry, Tobin,” she said. “Dr. Reese told me this could happen when we tried.” Tobin sobbed. “Oh, baby.” Christen rubbed Tobin’s back. “I’m so sorry. Shh… It’s okay.” Tobin would never be good enough for Christen again. She could never love Christen like she deserved. She could never be a good lover again. She didn’t deserve Christen. 

“S-s-sorry,” said Tobin.

“Don’t apologize. You’re not ready. It’s okay. We’re okay. Take a deep breath, Tobs,” she said. 

“Wanna…w-wanna t-try again,” said Tobin. Christen tucked Tobin’s face into her chin. 

“Of course, we can,” said Christen. “But you need to calm down first, okay?” Tobin let out another sob. “I’m so sorry. We should have waited, Tobin.” Tobin hyperventilated. “Tobin, if you don’t calm down you’re going to have a seizure.” Tobin was still shaking. “Shh…it’s okay, Tobin. Everything is okay. I’m not mad that we couldn’t have sex. We can still be intimate without it. It doesn’t matter. I just need you to be okay.” Christen kissed Tobin’s shoulder. Tobin tucked her face into the pillow. Christen rubbed Tobin’s belly gently. Tobin whined. 

“W-want…want—” Tobin said. Christen shushed her. 

“I know,” she said. “We can make things work, okay? We’ve had so many setbacks. We can do this, okay?” Tobin took a shaky breath. Christen nuzzled into Tobin’s hair. “Just breath.” Christen rubbed the back of Tobin’s neck. She started humming. Tobin shuttered.   
***  
The next morning, Tobin woke up with an awful, pounding headache. She sucked in a break and keened. 

“Hey. Easy, Tobin,” said Christen. “How do you feel?” Tobin whined again. “Okay. Relax. Can you open your eyes for me?” Tobin blinked. The world blurred and shifted in front of her. 

“C-can’t see…” said Tobin. Pain shot from behind her eyes. Her neck and shoulders tensed. Christen pressed her fingers into the base of Tobin’s neck. “N-no…” Christen stopped. 

“I’m taking you beck to rehab,” she said. “I can’t…I don’t have anything to give you for this.” Tobin whined. “I’m gonna call Allie. I’ll be right back.” Christen left. Tobin let out a quiet sob. The room felt like it was spinning. 

“H-hurts…” said Tobin. 

“I know, baby,” said Christen. “I’m so sorry. You’re okay.” The pressure on the back of her head was unbearable. She gagged and vomited just as Christen turned her on her side. She rubbed Christen back.

“I’m so sorry, Tobs. Please relax.” Christen tugged her out of her vomit and helped her into her wheelchair. The pain was so intense, Tobin hoped she’d pass out. She didn’t know how she would survive the car ride. 

She didn’t know how much time passed until she felt hands on her. She cracked her eyes open. Christen took in front of her as two men pulled her up onto a gurney. 

“It’s okay. I called the rehab center’s ambulance,” said Christen. “You’ll be okay. You just need to relax.” Tobin felt a stab in the crook of her arm. When she looked down, she saw one of the EMTs starting an IV. He smiled at her. Tobin looked back over at Christen.

“Just relax. Go to sleep. I’ll meet you back at rehab, okay? I love you.” Tobin blinked sluggishly. The pain in her head felt more and more distance. She closed here eyes…


	12. Christen-Flashback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is!

Christen sat by Tobin’s side, rubbing Tobin’s arm. Alex leaned up against the far wall, watching them. 

“Has Baker told you the results of the scan yet?” asked Alex. Christen shook her head. “She’ll wake up soon. She’ll be fine.” Christen nodded. “I’m serious.” Alex walked over and rubbed Christen shoulders. Christen shoved her off. Alex lifted her arms off. “Sorry.” Christen sighed and rubbed her face. 

“No…I’m just…” Christen shook her head. Alex nodded.

“Hey, I know. It’s fine,” she said. Christen nodded. Tobin’s head fell to her side. Christen reached over and rubbed her cheek, tilting her head back and supporting her neck. 

“Relax, baby,” murmured Christen. “Time to wake up for me.” Tobin’s jaw flexed and relaxed. Christen pulled her shirt sleeve up to wipe the spit dripping from Tobin’s mouth. There was a knock on the door and Dr. Baker popped in. 

“Hello, ladies,” he said. “How’s everyone?”

“Is it normal that she hasn’t woken up yet?” said Christen. Dr. Baker nodded. 

“We didn’t give her that much, just enough sedatives to keep her still during the CT, but it hasn’t been that long yet,” Baker said. Christen nodded. “Give her time.” Christen nodded. Dr. Baker looked at the machines and then through the tablet in his hand. He pulled up the scans. “So, I have the results of Ms. Heath’s scan.” Christen’s head snapped up. “It looks like she’s doing well. There have been no rebleeds. There is some scar tissue, but it is to be expected. From a physical stand point, it looks like her brain is healing very well.” Christen nodded. “So now, it’s all about her therapy and recovery.” Christen nodded. 

“So she’s moving to rehab?” asked Christen. Dr. Baker nodded. 

“Yes. I’ll make the recommendation to move her in the next few days,” he said. “I’ll have the nurses give you some brochures. I would recommend the rehab connected to the hospital.” Christen nodded. “A nurse will be back to check on her soon.” Christen nodded. Baker walked out. Alex walked over to the bed and squeezed Tobin’s free hand. Tobin moaned again. 

“Hi, baby,” said Christen. Tobin let out another low noise. Christen rubbed her cheek and kissed her forehead. “Come on, Tobs.” Tobin blinked slowly. “Hi, there.” Tobin made a small noise. Christen grinned at her. “How do you feel?” 

“I—” said Tobin. She swallowed and her Adams apple bobbed up and down.

“You’re all set,” said Christen. “They’re going to move you to rehab in a few days. It’ll be good. You’ll get better there.” Tobin looked around confused. 

“Chr—Chri—” Tobin stammered. Christen shushed her.

“It’s okay,” said Christen. “You’re okay.” 

“H-hur—” said Tobin. 

“I know,” said Christen. “Just relax.” Christen rubbed Tobin’s neck under her ears. Tobin was breathing hard. “Hey…you’re okay. Easy.” Tobin closed her eyes tightly. Alex pressed the call button and stuck her head out the door. Christen rubbed Tobin’s cheek. “Deep breaths, baby.” 

“She’s in pain,” said Alex. The nurse poked her head in and walked over to look at Tobin’s hospital ID bracelet and the computer in the corner.

“Alright,” she said. She patted Tobin’s knee. “She’s due for another dose. I’ll get it for her.” Tobin groaned and pressed the back of her head into the pillow. 

“N…” Tobin groaned. 

“Shh…” said Christen. “It’s okay.” Fat tears dripped down her face. “Oh, Tobs…” Christen shushed her and rubbed her cheek. “One second. Just a little bit until she comes back with the medicine.”

“W-w-why?” sobbed Tobin. Christen’s heart broke. “Deep breath. In and out.” Christen took a deep breath. “C’mon, Tobin…” The nurse came back in. She injected something into the IV port and pressed some buttons on it. Tobin gasped. Christen shushed her. 

“I’ll be back,” said the nurse. Alex nodded and watched her leave. Tobin reached over and pulled her forward. Christen kissed her forehead. Tobin pulled at her again. Christen slid into bed next to her and pulled her into her chest. Alex rubbed Tobin’s shoulder and walked out. 

Eventually, Tobin’s breathing evened out. 

“B-b-b…” muttered Tobin. Christen shook her head. 

“Don’t try to talk,” she said. “You’re in the hospital. You hurt your head. It’s me. It’s Christen. Just try and relax for me.” Tobin buried her face deeper and her whole body trembled. 

There was a knock on the door. Christen looked over. 

“Hi. I’m here to start physical therapy.” Tobin pushed herself farther into Tobin.

“Could you come back later?” asked Christen. The PT smiled sadly.

“Dr. Baker really wants her to start right away,” she said. Christen nodded.

“Okay, Tobin. Let go,” she said. Tobin didn’t loosen her hold. Christen rubbed her fingers until she was able to pry her knuckles open. “I’ll be right here.” Christen sat down next to her. The PT smiled at Tobin. 

“Just relax and hold your friend’s hand,” she said. There was no response from Tobin, and it made Christen’s heart clench once again. The PT pulled the blanket off of her legs. She grabbed Tobin’s bad leg. “Deep breath…ready and exhale.” She pushed Tobin’s bad leg to her chest. Tobin screamed.

“Stop,” said Christen. The PT sighed.

“I know its scary. It’s going to hurt before it gets better,” she said. Christen shook her head. Tobin squeezed her hand and looked up at her, with big watery eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” Christen said. “Relax. It’s okay…” Tobin shook her head.

“N-no…St—” Tobin sniffled and sobbed again. The PT pressed her leg to her chest again. Tobin’s arm jerked. She sobbed even louder. “N-n…” Christen smoothed Tobin’s hair back. 

“Shh…” she said. Tobin’s chest heaved. “Can you please wait? This is cruel.” Dr. Baker walked back in with Alex. “Alex, they’re hurting her!” Alex eyebrows creased. 

“How about you two go for a walk?” he said. “We’ll call you when you’re done.” Tobin was shaking. Alex looked between the four of them. 

“Christen…they’re doctors…they know what they’re doing…” she said. Christen bit her lip and looked down at Tobin. “If you can’t be calm, you’re not helping her.” Christen shook her head and kissed Tobin’s forehead. 

“I love you,” she said. Tobin screamed as the door shut behind her.


	13. Tobin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin gets some new pain meds and talks with Christen and its rlly cute for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I finished this quickly so I wanted to post it.
> 
> This is actually pretty fluffy before i reign all of hell's angst on you pretty soon. Enjoy.
> 
> I'll try to post another chapter Monday/Tuesday next week.

Tobin felt like her mouth was filled with cotton. Her head still throbbed and her shoulders hurt. She opened her eyes. Allie was sitting next to her. Tobin looked over.

“Hey, Harry,” said Allie. Tobin nodded. 

“Wh-what…hap..?” Tobin stuttered. She pressed a hand to her eye.

“You were in a lot of pain, and everyone thought you had seizure,” she said. Tobin nodded slowly. 

“Ch-chris?” she asked. 

“She’s talking with Dr. Reese and your treatment team,” said Allie. Tobin nodded and turned on her side. Pain shot through her jaw. She squeezed her eyes closed. 

“I-I…” Tobin took a deep breath.

“Shh…just rest,” she said. “You can talk with everyone later when you feel better.”

“N-not g…going h-home soon…am…am…I?” stammered Tobin. She curled up, cradling her face. Allie sighed. 

“I don’t know. That’s what they’re talking about,” she said. “Well that and stuff about your pain management.” Allie’s hand rubbed the back of Tobin’s neck. “Or lack of pain management.” Tobin jerked her head forward and winced. “You shouldn’t be feeling this bad…” Tobin squeezed her eyes shut. “Want me massage your shoulders?”

“N-no,” said Tobin. “N-no…touch…” 

“Okay,” said Allie. Tobin’s jaw continued to sting and a high-pitched whine sounded in her ears. Tobin clapped her hands over her ears. 

She heard the door open and the muffle voices of some people. She felt the bed dip and a warm soft hand on her hip. She could smell Christen’s soft and light perfume. 

“Hey, Tobin,” said Christen. Tobin looked over at Christen. Christen wiped the tears from under Tobin’s eyes. Tobin turned over. “Hi, baby. How do you feel?”

“L-leave m-m…a…lone,” said Tobin. Christen kissed Tobin behind her ear. 

“Baby, can the doctors do something to help with the pain?” said Christen. 

“H-hurts,” said Tobin. Christen nodded. 

“I know,” she said. “I know. Can I help? The doctors have some new medicine. Do you want it?” Tobin trembled. Christen reached over and rubbed her back. “I think you should take it, Tobs.” Tobin rolled over and nodded. A nurse walked over from the corner of the room.

“Alright, Tobin,” she said. “I’m going to give you a couple little shots in the back of your head and neck, okay? Then you can rest and when you’re feeling a little bit better we can do some nice gentle neck exercises.” Tobin looked over at Christen who nodded at her. She squeezed her hand. 

“It’s okay. I got you,” she said. “Turn this way.” She rolled Tobin towards her. The nurse walked around back of her. Christen supported Tobin’s head as the nurse pulled the pillow out from under her and slid a rolled towel under it. Christen pulled Tobin’s hair up into a mess bun. She squeezed Tobin’s hand and leaned over the bed, pressing a kiss to her temple. Tobin pressed her face into Christen’s neck, and Christen held her face still. 

“Alright,” said the nurse. “This is going to be a little cold.” Tobin flinched.

“Shh…easy…” said Christen. 

“D-don’t like,” said Tobin. 

“Just relax. It’s almost done,” she said. Tobin felt a sharp pinch. Christen held her head. “Easy.” 

“Ow…” mumbled Tobin. She sniffled. 

“Another pinch,” said the nurse. Tobin groaned again. 

“C-chris…” she whined. 

“Just a few more, baby,” she said. The injection sites felt cold and stung. It made her skin crawl. SHe felt another pinch. 

“N-no…”

“One more, baby. You’re going to feel so much better,” said Christen. Tobin sniffled. 

“Last one,” she said. There was one last pinch at the base of her skull. Tobin whined again. The nurse pulled out the needle and rubbed the base of her neck. “All done.” The nurse put the needle in the sharps bin and pulled off her gloves. “We’ll be back to check on her in a little while.” She left.

Christen squeezed Tobin’s hand. Tobin blinked up at her. 

“F-feels…funny,” she said. Christen rubbed her cheek. 

“I know,” she said. “Sleep, Tobs. You’ll be fine. Just rest.” Tobin’s eyes fluttered.

“S-sorry,” she slurred. 

“No,” said Christen. “Don’t you dare apologize for anything. I know how hard you’re trying. I’m sorry I pushed you. I’m sorry I let you push yourself. I’m not just saying this, but I love you so much. I see how hard you’re trying. I’m so…” Christen sniffled. “God, every day I wake up, and I panic for a second. And then I wake up next to you. It makes everything better.” Tobin reached out for Christen and kissed her gently on the lips. 

“L-love you,” she said. Christen smiled and kissed her back. 

“I love you too,” she said. 

“B-but…’m not…n-not good…e…” Tobin paused and rubbed her jaw. “H-hurts…” 

“I’m sorry about that. You just gotta relax. The medicine is going to take a while to kick in,” she said. Tobin nodded. Christen gently rubbed her shoulders.

“T-tired of…relaxing…” said Tobin. Christen smiled and shook her head. “W-wanna….p-pl…ay s-soccer…” Tobin rolled over and pulled Christen next to her. Christen pushed the pillow under their heads. She ran her hand through Tobin’s hair. 

“Once you get out of here, we’ll work on getting you a job with soccer, okay?” she said. Tobin looked away and nodded. Christen rubbed Tobin’s cheek. “You know you won’t be able to play again, right?” Christen was touching Tobin in three places. Tobin dropped her head.

“Y-yeah,” she said. She reached up and touched the scar from where the drain had been. Christen pulled her hand away. 

“That doesn’t mean you can’t do something with soccer…you can coach!” said Christen.

“I c-can’t…talk, Ch-christen,” Tobin said. Christen looked down at her. Christen lifted up her chin and looked at Tobin with such love, it almost made Tobin want to look away.

“You’ll get better, Tobin,” she said. “You just need some more therapy, okay? We can fix this.” Tobin nodded.

“Hard,” she said. “They…g-get st-stuck.”

“What does? The words?” said Christen. Tobi nodded. “We can talk with your speech therapist. You’ve come so far. I’m sure we can help you get to where you feel better.” Tobin nodded. 

“Th-th-tank you,” she said. “Gl-glad…here.” She squeezed her eyes shut. 

“I’m glad to be here with you too,” she said. She nuzzled her face in Tobin’s neck. Tobin smiled and tucked her head on top of Christen’s. Christen kissed her neck. Tobin giggled. She leaned up. “Go to sleep, now.”


	14. Christen-Flashback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is why Dr. Baker is only in the FB scenes.

Tobin was sliding her good hand through her hair and pressing it over her eye. 

“Alright,” said the speech therapist. “What’s this?” She held up a flashcard with a picture of a truck on it. She mouthed a word and stuttered out a bunch of vowels. Christen looked up at her from over the top of her phone. “Good try. It’s a truck. Can you say truck? Tr-uck.” 

“Uhh-cck…” said Tobin. “Tr…” Her face fell. “Fu—” Tobin shoved against the try table. “Nuh-no!” SHe took a shaky breath. “Chr—” Christen got up and immediately came t her side. 

“Baby, it’s okay,” she said. “You’re doing so good. I know it’s hard.” Tobin pressed her face in Christen’s shoulder and started hyperventilating. 

“We only have a few more cards to go through and then we’re done,” said the speech therapist. Tobin shook her head and buried it in deeper into Christen’s shirt, balling it in her good hand. 

“Can we give her a break?” said Christen. The therapist shook her head. 

“She has a nap scheduled next and right after that she has PT,” she said. Christen looked down at Tobin’s shaking form. “I know it’s hard, but she needs this. More intensive therapy soon after the injury helps increase the chances of a more complete recovery.” Christen nodded and kissed the top of Tobin’s head. 

“Ready to try again, Tobs?” she asked. Tobin shook her head.

“D-d-d-duh…” said Tobin.

“Done?” asked Christen. Tobin nodded. 

“Pl-pl-puh-lease,” she said. Christen looked over at the therapist. The therapist shrugged. Christen tucked her face next to Tobin’s ear. 

“One more try…for me…” Tobin pulled away from Christen and slammed her hand into the table. She let out a cry.

“Nuh-nuh…no!” she sobbed. The speech therapist grabbed her cards and shook her head. 

“Her PT will be here in an hour and a half,” she said. 

“No!” yelled Tobin. “St-st-st—” Christen pulled a thrashing Tobin on her lap. Christen rubbed Tobin’s back. She started humming. Tobin sobbed and attempted to burrow herself into Christen. “N-no…w-wann…” She continued sobbing. Christen nodded. 

“I know. I know, baby,” she said. She rubbed circles on Tobin’s back. 

“H-hurt…s-so muh-muh—” cried Tobin. She shook her head.

“I know,” said Christen. 

“D-duh-dow…” mumbled Tobin. 

“Tobs, just sleep, please, okay?” said Christen. Tobin made a soft noise of protest. Christen kissed her shoulder. “Relax…shh…relax…” Christen rocked her back and forth gently until her breathing evened out. “I love you,” said Christen into Tobin’s hair. 

It seemed like they were only sitting there for a few minutes when the door opened. 

“Hello,” said the PT. Christen sighed. 

“She just fell asleep,” said Christen. The PT nodded.

“I’m sorry, but it’s important she does her therapy,” he said. Christen nodded.

“Tobin,” she said, nuzzling her face into Tobin’s hair. “Tobs…” Tobin groaned. “Hey, you have to wake up.” Tobin blinked awake. “It’s time for PT.” Tobin shook her head as Christen extracted herself. 

“Nuh-n…” said Tobin. The PT gestured to the door. 

“You should leave for this,” he said. 

“I don’t…” said Christen. Alex walked in. 

“You haven’t gone home since she got moved here,” said Alex. “She’s fine. Let me drive you home. Please.” Tobin looked away. Christen leaned over her. 

“Do you want me to stay?” she asked. Tobin opened and closed her mouth. She shrugged. Alex nodded. Christen leaned over and kissed Tobin’s forehead. “I’ll be back soon. I love you.”

Christen barely realized when they finally got home. Alex lead her into the house. 

“Hungry?” asked Alex. Christen shook her head. 

“I’m going to sleep. I’ll eat when wake up before I head back,” she said. Alex nodded. Christen walked over to her bedroom and stared at the bed that should have Tobin in it. She bit her lip. Alex walked up behind her. Alex squeezed her shoulder.

“I miss her so much,” Christen said. Her voice cracked. Alex squeezed her shoulder. 

“I’m so sorry,” she said. Christen put her hand on Alex’s and squeezed her hand. 

“I know,” she said. Christen couldn’t get herself to take another step inside.

“Do you want me to come in there with you?” she asked. “Or I can switch and you can get the guest room…?” Christen shook her head slowly. 

“I’m fine,” she said. Christen walked in.

“I’ll be in the living room if you need me,” she said. Christen nodded. She fell down on the bed with her shoes still on. She closed her eyes.  
***********************************************************************************  
Christen jolted out of her sleep. Her phone was ringing. She couldn’t quite remember her dream, but it left her heart racing and a sick feeling in her stomach. She looked around. She reached over and grabbed her phone.

“H-hello?” said Christen. 

“Hi. It’s Dr. Baker.” Christen’s stomach dropped.

“No,” she said. She let out a weak sob. 

“She’s fine,” said Baker. “Well, she fell out of bed, but she’s doing okay.” 

“What?” she said. 

“She tried to get out of the bed and fell,” he said. “She was confused. We took her to the hospital. She seems fine. We just need you there since you are her primary caretaker and have power of attorney.” Christen nodded. 

“Right,” she said, swallowing. “I’ll be there in 15.” Christen hung up and sat there for a moment. 

Alex knocked on the door lightly and pushed it open. 

“Hey, Chris. What ‘s the matter?” Christen looked down and burst into tears.


	15. Tobin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter. I'm approaching the end of the story. I'll probably finish out at around chapter 20 or so. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Tobin woke up almost nose to nose with Christen. She could feel her warm breath on her cheek. She looked around. They were in her room at rehab. Tobin closed her eyes and tried to think of what the last thing that she remembered. She had woken up with a splitting headache…

Well, her head didn’t ache nearly as much as before. She rolled onto her back and looked at the alarm clock. It was nearly 4pm. She looked back at Christen’s relaxed face. This was the most relaxed Tobin had seen her since the accident. Tobin reached out and let her fingers glance off her cheeks. She smiled to herself. 

“I love you,” she said quietly. Memories from last night floated to the surface. She closed her eyes and gritted her teeth. God, she just wanted to make things special for her…

Christen turned over and pulled Tobin to her chest. Tobin hissed as her bad arm was pinched weirdly. She extracted her arm from under Christen and laid back down. She didn’t know what she did to deserve Christen. Christen was beautiful and perfect and so loving. And Tobin was a broken disaster…

The door opened. Tobin turned.

Alex chuckled.

“Hey,” she said. Tobin shushed her and nodded at Christen. Alex raised an eyebrow. “You guys are sweet.” Alex leaned against the door frame. Tobin glared at her. Alex walked over and sat down in the bed next to her. “Don’t look at me like that.” Tobin turned away. 

“You’re an ass, you know,” said Alex. She reached over and grabbed Tobin’s hand. “I’m really glad you’re okay. Tobin looked at her critically. Alex shook her head. “I’m sorry about everything…the game…things just…” She shook her head. Tobin rolled her eyes.

“N-not your fault,” she said. Alex opened her mouth, and Tobin shook her head. “No…f-fine.” Alex nodded. Christen groaned. Tobin shushed her. Christen smirked. 

“Good Morning,” she said. She kissed Tobin’s neck. Tobin smiled. “How do you feel?” 

“P-pretty oh-k-kay,” said Tobin. Christen opened her eyes and laid her head on the middle of Tobin’s chest. Christen yawned.

“Good,” she said. She looked over at Alex. “When did you get here?”

“A couple seconds ago,” she said. Christen nodded. She shifted in the bed and nuzzled into Tobin. Tobin reached around her and squeezed her. Christen sat back up and pushed her hair from her eyes. 

“What are you doing here?” she asked. 

“Checking on you guys,” said Alex. Christen raised an eyebrow. “Allie was busy.” Christen raised her eyebrows. Tobin could see her mouth something to Alex. 

“Wha’,” said Tobin. She pushed herself up. 

“Nothing,” said Christen. “It’s fine.” Tobin gave her a look. Christen rubbed her shoulder. Tobin made an annoyed face.

“W-wanna know…” she whined.

“She has a game,” said Alex. Christen gave her a look. 

“Oh-k-kay,” said Tobin. She looked back and forth of between Alex and Christen. “Tell…her g-good luck.” Alex nodded. 

“Will do,” she said. She reached into her pocket. Christen turned to look at Tobin.

“’M n-not upset…h-happy sh-she can pl-play,” said Tobin. She took a deep breath and sighed. Her head had started throbbing again. She pushed her head back into the pillow. Christen sat up off her. 

“You okay, baby?” she asked. Tobin swallowed and nodded. 

“T-talk-ing is h-hard,” she said. Christen smiled at her.

“I’m glad that you’re trying so hard,” she said. Tobin nodded and grunted. Christen sat up and rubbed her face. The door opened up. 

One of the nurse walked in. He smiled. 

“How are you doing, Tobin?” he asked. 

“B-better,” she said. He squirted hand sanitizer on his hands. 

“Glad to hear it,” he said. “Can I take your vitals? We just gave you something new for the pain.” Tobin nodded. He came over and pressed the stethoscope to her back. “Deep breath.” Tobin obliged. He finished up. He took her blood pressure and put the pulse ox on her finger. “I’m going to move your hair to check the injection sites on your neck.” Tobin looked over at Christen, concerned. 

“They gave something for your headaches,” she said. Tobin nodded. The nurse reached and moved Tobin’s hair out of the way. The nurse palpated her neck with his gloved hands. 

“Looks good. It seems like you’re not having any kind of adverse reaction,” he said. “How’s your pain on a scale of 1-10?” She shrugged. 

“Th-three? F-four?” she said. He looked at her chart.

“Good. That’s a lot lower than normal,” he said. “Do you feel up for PT today? You’ve missed a few days.” Tobin nodded. “Good. I’ll tell your PT.” He walked out. Tobin laid back and sighed. Christen stood up, and Tobin whined. 

“Come on,” she said. “You need to get ready for PT.” Tobin whined again. “C’mon…”  
*****************************************************************************  
Tobin leaned over, breathing hard. Her abs and hips burned and tugged. 

“Alright,” said the PT. She helped Tobin back to the wheelchair from the yoga ball. “Slow, easy, breaths. You’re doing great.” Tobin nodded and squeezed her head. “We’re going to try standing up now, alright?” Tobin nodded and sighed. The PT pushed her over to the bars. “Ready?” Tobin nodded. 

“Put your hands on here,” she said. The PT put Tobin’s hands on the parallel bars and grabbed the belt around Tobin’s waist. “Ready?” Tobin nodded. 

“One, two…” 

Tobin leaned forward and pulled herself up. Her legs shook like a newborn foal. She could feel the tug the belt around her waist. 

“Don’t keep your elbows locked,” she said. Tobin nodded and tried to relax her arms. Her bad arm shook even more. Her wrist twisted. She fell sideways with a cry. The PT taught her before she could fall any farther. Christen was immediately by her side. 

“Shh…you did so good, Tobin. I’m so proud of you,” said Christen. Tobin bit her lip as the PT eased her back into the wheelchair.

“W-wanna try ‘gain,” she said. Christen shook her head. 

“Baby, you did such a good job. You don’t need to. You can rest and go again tomorrow,” she said. Tobin shook her head. 

“T-try n-n-nuh-n-now,” she said. Christen shook her head. The PT helped her back into the chair. 

“Alright,” she said. “One more try.” Tobin braced her hands against the bars and pulled herself up. Her knuckles tightened on the bars. The world spun slightly, enough to throw her off balance. But she pulled her arms forward and took a step. 

“Don’t—” Christen started. 

Tobin dragged one foot forward. She wobbled but didn’t fall. Then she took another. Her legs shook. And she fell perfectly into Christen’s waiting arms.


	16. Christen-Flashback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last fb chapter other than the accident!!

Tobin was rolled on her side in the hospital bed. Her right wrist was wrapped up in a splint and propped on a pillow. There was an ice pack on a large red, black and blue on her jaw and an ice pack balanced on it. Christen carded her hand through Tobin’s hair. Tobin stared at her through half-lidded eyes. 

“Yeah…” said Christen into her phone. “No, I can’t send her back there…yeah…she’s staying in the hospital overnight but I need…” She paused. She noticed that Tobin’s eyes seemed to focus on her, and she gave Tobin a smile. “She’s pretty out of it right now. They, um, sedated. They needed to reset her arm and get some scans…Yeah I asked for a different doctor.” Christen rubbed her face. “You don’t have to come, Allie. And don’t call Tobin’s family for this. She’s fine. Still out of it. They don’t need to worry.” 

Alex came in and handed Christen a coffee. She tipped it back. 

“Yeah,” said Christen. “If you could get her stuff from the other rehab…Yeah…I don’t wanna leave her. She was really freaked out in the ER…Yeah. Thanks, Allie. I’ll text you when she’s up. Bye.” 

Alex rubbed Christen’s shoulders. Christen lolled her head back and closed her eyes. She patted Alex’s hand. 

“Did you see the video?” asked Christen. Alex nodded.

“She shouldn’t stay there,” said Alex. 

“What did they do?” said Christen. 

“It was just…neglect,” Alex said. “It was…they just…left her there. She was upset and looking around. They had all four of the bedrails up and no one around. She tried to get out. She fell. She tried to catch herself with her bad arm. She slammed her chin into table and landed on her bad arm. And um, then she seized.” Alex walked over and gently rubbed circles on Tobin’s back. “They didn’t come in for a while afterwards. Like almost 3 minutes.” Christen hiccupped and let out a low sob. “And, um, she, uh, lost bladder control when she fell.”

“She was lying there in her own…pee for…?” asked Christen.

“Almost 5 minutes?” said Alex, closing her eyes. Christen nodded. 

“Oh, baby,” she said. She reached over and kissed Tobin’s forehead. Tobin let out a little groan. “I’m so sorry. I should have stayed last night.”

“This isn’t your fault. You can’t be there all the time until she’s better,” said Alex. Christen shook her head. Tobin groaned again. Christen scooted right to the end of her chair and leaned right over Tobin, shushing her.

“I’m here, Tobs. It’s me, Christen. You’re safe now. You’re okay,” she said. Tobin blinked slowly. She sniffled and opened and closed her mouth. Tears dripped down her face.

“I’ll get a nurse.” Alex slipped out of the room. Christen rubbed Tobin’s cheek. 

 

“Shh…you’re okay,” she said. 

“B-bad-d-d…f-feel…” Tobin squeezed her eyes shut. 

“I know,” said Christen. “And I’m so sorry. You’ll feel better soon, okay?” After the doctor comes you can just…sleep this off…” Tobin opened and closed her mouth like she does when she can’t remember the words she needs. “Baby, please…don’t try to talk. Just rest.” Tobin’s bottom lip quivered. Christen’s face fell even further. 

“Oh, Tobin, no, no, no,” said Christen. “It’s okay. Don’t cry. Please. Just relax.” Tobin sobbed. Snot and tears dripped down her face. Christen looked down at her at a loss. Tobin flex her fingers, reaching out for Christen. “Tobin, I can’t—” Tobin groaned and pulled on Christen’s sleeve. 

“W-w-wanna…” Christen sighed. She sat on the bed and pulled Tobin into her chest. Tobin clutched her the back of Christen’s shirt. Christen sighed and rubbed up and down Tobin’s back. Tobin squeezed her eyes shut. “Wuh-wuh-where…?”

“You’re in the hospital,” said Christen softly. “You hit your head.” Tobin’s eyebrows creased. She opened and closed her mouth. 

“Don’t worry about it,” said Christen. “Some bad stuff happened, but you’re okay now. I got you.”

“Hu-hu-hmm—home…?” asked Tobin. Christen sniffled and pressed her face into Tobin’s hair. 

“We’ll go home soon,” she said. “But you gotta get better first, okay?” Tobin opened and closed her mouth again. She grimaced and pushed her forehead against Christen’s shoulder. Christen took her other hand and rubbed Tobin’s temple. 

The door opened. 

“Hi.” The woman walked in behind Alex and spirted some hand sanitizer on her hands. “I am Dr. Reese. We spoke on the phone. I work with Walnut Creek Rehab Center.” Christen nodded. 

“I’m Christen,” she said quietly. “And this is Tobin.” Dr. Reese walked closer. 

“She having a rough time?” Christen sniffled and nodded. Dr. Reese leaned down. 

“Tobin?” Tobin lifted her face from Christen’s shoulder. “Hi. I’m your new doctor, Dr. Reese…I have to do a quick exam…but you look really comfy…so could you just turn so you can look at me.” Dr, Reese broke up her sentences and spoke very slowly. But Tobin immediately obeyed. Christen helped her twist towards Dr. Reeses. She smiled. “Follow my finger.” Tobin’s forehead creased. She leaned into Christen again. Christen stopped stroking her face and pulled her chin up.

“Tobin, do what Dr. Reese says please,” she said. Tobin looked over at Reese. 

“Follow the pen with your eyes,” she said again. Tobin lifted her head and looked at Reese. 

“Do what the doctor says, Tobin,” she said. 

“Good…” she said as Tobin followed the penlight. Reese flipped the pen around and shined it in her eyes. Tobin winced back into Christen. “Look at me.” Tobin looked at Reese half-lidded. Christen let out a watery chuckle. 

“Hey, you, look at her,” said Christen. She kissed the top of Tobin’s head. Tobin groaned. Reese looked at her eyes. 

“Good…” She walked over to the computer in the corner of the room and looked through it. “We are very lucky she didn’t get a concussion…” 

“She broke two bones,” said Alex. Dr. Reese nodded. 

“It’s really terrible that this happened,” she said. She walked over to the cabinet and typed in a code to unlock it. “But it could have been so much worse.” Reese pulled on some gloves, grabbed the syringes and walked over to Tobin’s IV. She lifted up the syringes. 

“Low dose sedative, non-narcotic pain killer, anti-seizure medication.” Christen nodded and looked at Tobin. Tobin watched as Dr. Reese slowly injected them into her IV. “I know you wanted to avoid the sedative, but it’s best to keep her calm until she’s in a less chaotic environment.” Christen nodded. “We’ll try to ween her off once she moves to rehab.” 

“When will that be?” said Christen. 

“Probably tomorrow afternoon. She did take quite a tumble,” said Dr. Reese. “We just want to make sure she’s alright.” Christen nodded. Tobin started drooping and her head rested heavily on Christen’s chest.

Dr. Reese smiled and patted Tobin’s knee. 

“I’m going to let her get some rest. I’ll come back to check on her before she gets moved tomorrow. If you need anything, press the call button.” Christen nodded.  
************************************************************************************  
Tobin whined and turned her head back and forth as two EMTs lifted her onto a gurney. 

“Relax, baby,” said Christen. “We’re just moving you to rehab.” Tobin whined. Christen rubbed her forehead and sighed. 

“We can give her something to keep her comfortable,” said one of the EMTs. Christen looked down at Tobin. 

“Tobin, do you want something to help you take a nap until we get there?” aske Christen. Tobin tried to push herself up. One of the EMTs gently pushed her shoulder back down and pulled the seatbelts over her. Tobin groaned tried to pull away. “Tobin…” Christen shook her head. 

“H-huh-huh-mm,” said Tobin. “H—” Tobin smacked the bed with her hand. “HOME?!” Christen rubbed her cheek. 

“Not yet,” she said. “You’re going to rehab to get better.” Tobin shook her head. 

“Nuh-nuh-no,” said Tobin. Christen rubbed her face. 

“Give her the sedative,” said Christen. She grabbed her hand and squeezed it. She kissed Tobin’s forehead. The EMT injected the IV, and the other one tucked a blanket around her. 

“Alright, we’re going outside,” said the EMT. Christen nodded. Tobin whined again and struggled. Christen shushed her and squeezed her hand as they pushed Tobin down the hall. Christen pulled her sunglasses out of her pocket and putting them on her face, right before they walked out the door. Tobin winced at the light and turned her face into the pillow. 

“L-li-li—” Tobin shuddered. Christen hushed her. 

“It’s okay,” she said. “We’re almost there.” The EMTs pushed her into the ambulance. Christen stepped in after they tied the gurney down. Christen ran her hand over Tobin’s hair and smiled at her.


	17. Tobin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another long one. I've had a lot of people comment about how much they like the story. I'm super surprised and grateful for all the love and positive comments. However, I feel like this story is coming to its end. I'm going to finish it soon, in probably the next three chapters. I may work on a sequel in the future, but honestly, I feel like I need to take a break between stories for different ships. I really appreciate all the support from you guys. I hope you like the new chapter.

Tobin woke up alone in a place that wasn’t her bed. It was cold and empty. Panic rose in her throat. She turned her head and opened her eyes. There was a note she couldn’t quite read on the night table. Tobin pushed herself up wit her good arm. She looked around.

A nurse walked in. 

“Good Morning, Tobin,” she said. Tobin creased her eyebrows. “You’re at rehab. Christen went home to shower and take a nap. She’ll be back soon.” Tobin nodded as everything came back to her. She nodded. “Let’s get you ready for the day.” Tobin nodded. The nurse put a yogurt container in front of her. Tobin shakily ate it. The nurse smiled at her. “How do you feel?” Tobin shrugged. 

“H-head h-hurts…less,” she said. 

“That’s good,” said the nurse. “You’re eating very well. I’m going to recommend that Dr. Reese takes out the ng tube.” Tobin grinned. 

“F-finally,” she said. The nurse grabbed some towels and set up the bathroom for her to take a shower. Christen walked in. She walked over and kissed Tobin on the head.

“Good morning, baby,” she said. Tobin smiled and kissed her on the cheek. 

“M-morning,” she said. 

“Look at you,” Christen said. “You’re eating.” Tobin stuck her tongue out. Christen nudged Tobin. “Knock it off, you.” Tobin smirked and looked down at her yogurt. “What do you think about going for a walk after your nap today?” Tobin smiled and nodded. Christen kissed her forehead. 

“W-wuh-watch th-th-ter-aphy?” asked Tobin. Christen smiled. 

“Of course,” she said. “As long as you pay attention.” Tobin rolled her eyes. 

Dr. Reese walked in. 

“Hello, ladies,” she said. “How are you feeling, Tobin?” Tobin shrugged and rocked her god hand back and forth. “Have you been feeling better since we started doing the injections?” Tobin nodded. 

“H-head hurts…less…can f-focus b-b-buh-better,” she said. Dr. Reese nodded. 

“Good,” she said. Dr. Reese began taking her vitals. “It seems like you’ve been doing a lot better. We’re going to continue giving you the injections every month or so. The pain hopefully will wane after a little while, but if it doesn’t will find something else to help with your pain.” Tobin nodded. “You’ve honestly been doing much better this past week or so since we started the injections. We might start looking into sending you home soon.” Tobin beamed. 

“R-really?” she said. Dr. Reese nodded. 

“You’re eating, your pain is manageable, you haven’t had a seizure in weeks…You’re doing really well,” she said. Christen smiled and pressed a kiss to Tobin’s lips. “You’ll still have therapy probably five days a week at first, but you’ll be able to sleep at home.” Tobin couldn’t stop grinning. 

“F-finally,” she said. Christen rubbed her shoulder. 

“The ng tube might be able to come out in the next week or so, if you continue to eat,” Reese said. Tobin nodded again. Reese finished taking vitals. “Everything seems okay. I’m going to talk to Christen a bit while you get ready for PT.” Tobin nodded. She watched Dr. Reese and Christen walk out. 

The nurse helped her get ready for the day, washing her face and brushing her teeth after Tobin finished breakfast. Christen came back in a few minutes later, positively beaming. She leaned over and showered Tobin with kisses. Tobin giggled. 

“Alright. Time for PT,” said the nurse. Tobin nodded. 

“I’ll take her down,” said Christen. The nurse nodded. Christen pushed her down the hall. Tobin dragged and pushed the chair forward with her good foot. 

“You’re eager,” said Christen. Tobin shrugged. 

“R-ready,” said Tobin. Christen shook her head. 

“Okay. Don’t push yourself too har though. If you get hurt, you’ll have to stay longer,” she said. Tobin nodded and kept pulling herself forward.

Tobin opened the door for Christen and looked over at her. Christen rolled her eyes and walked in. Tobin followed her. The PT walked over. 

“I’ll see you when you’re done, Tobs,” she said. She gave Tobin a quick peck on the lips. 

The PT had Tobin stretch out and practice all her range of motion exercises and balance. The PT and one of the assistants helped Tobin up and helped her stand in front of a walker. Tobin gave the PT a questioning look.

“Using this it your first step to walking around unassisted,” she said. Tobin nodded. The PT and the assistant pulled her up and positioned her arms on the walker. They let her lean into it. The walker slid out away from her. The PT grabbed it before Tobin could fall on her face. 

“Easy,” said the PT. Tobin gulped and nodded. The assistant grabbed onto the walker and stabilities it. “Alright. Let’s try again. Take it slow.” Tobin nodded. “Ready?” The assistant moved the walker forward a little bit. Tobin leaned forward and took a step. She didn’t fall forward and smiled in relief. 

“Want to keep going?” Tobin nodded. She took another step. The two women had to catch her and the walker slid forward. Before the PT and her assistant could try to stop her she stepppws forward to keep it from falling. “Take it easy…” Tobin took a deep breath and nodded. “Let’s sit down and take a break…you’re doing so well…”  
***********************************************************************************  
Tobin woke up with a sigh, feeling sore, but not agonizingly so. She opened her eyes and looked over at Christen. She reached over and squeezed her hand. 

“H-hey, b-baby,” Tobin said. Christen looked over and smiled at her. 

“Hey, you. How are you feeling?” asked Christen. Tobin shrugged and smiled. 

“I-I’m…good,” she said. 

“You did really well today,” said Christen. Tobin nodded. 

“W-want to…t-talk about s-some…thing else,” she said. “I-I’m get-ting better n-now. W-we can t-talk n-normal…” Christen gave her a soft smile.

“Of course, baby,” she said. “We can talk about whatever you want.”

“N-need a…date night…w-when I g-get home,” Tobin said. Christen shook her head. 

“Oh yeah?” she said. She nuzzled her nose into Tobin’s shoulders. Tobin smirked and nudged Christen’s face until Christen turned towards her. Tobin pressed her lips to Christen’s. She felt Christen smile into her mouth. Christen’s arms slipped around Tobin ad squeezed her hips. Tobin moaned softly.

“W-wan…wanna touch,” she said. “Wanna…h-have sex.” Christen nodded. 

“Yeah? You sure?” said Christen. Tobin pulled on Christen’s shirt to make out with her. Christen shook her head. “Someone could walk in on us.” Tobin rolled her eyes. 

“D-don’t care…l-lock door,” she said. Christen sighed.

“You have to let go of me first,” she said. Tobin rolled away, wincing. Christen put the “do not disturb” sign on the door. She shut it and smirked at her. She wiggled her eyebrows at Tobin. She snorted. 

“Let’s get you comfy and have some fun,” she said. Tobin giggled. Christen jumped over to the bed and tried not to shake Tobin too much. Christen pulled a pillow under Tobin’s head more securely and kissed the side of her mouth, down her neck. “Tell me when it’s too much.” Tobin nodded. She held Christen’s hand. Christen continued kissing down her neck. She grabbed the end of Tobin’s shirt and pulled it up over her head. She slid her hand over Tobin’s boob. Tobin shuddered. Her head was already starting to pound. She moaned. 

“W-wait…” said Tobin. “Dizzy.” She closed her eyes. Christen stopped. Tobin held herself up and squeezed her eyes shut. Christen pushed herself up away from Tobin as she caught her breath. “F-feel weird…” Christen sat back. 

“We’re stopping,” she said. “We’re not doing this again until you’re actually ready. I’m not hurting you again.” Tobin made a frustrated noise. 

“No…w-want to do it…now…” she whined. “I c-can do i-it.” She leaned over and started making it with Christen. It was sloppy and wet, and Tobin’s heart wasn’t in it.

“Stop,” said Christen. Tobin pulled back. Her forehead creased in concern. 

“W-wuh-why?” she asked. 

“Tobin, we can’t do this,” she said. “You aren’t ready. You don’t need to do this. I don’t want to do it if you’re like this.” 

“No!” Tobin sobbed. “No. I-I’m f-fine. I-I can do…c-can d-do th-this. ‘m ‘kay…” Christen reached around and hugged her. 

“Tobin, what’s wrong?” she asked. Tobin was hyperventilating. She crawled away from Christen. 

“H-have to be g-good enough f-for…you,” said Tobin. Christen shook her head. 

“Tobin, what are you talking about? You are good enough,” she said. Tobin shook her head.

“Can’t t-talk, c-can’t w-walk…can’t th-think,” she said. “Y-you sh-should…leave m-me. L-leave m-me for Al-lex…She’s b-better.” Tear streamed down her face as she hiccupped. Christen shook her head.

“Tobin, I’m not leaving you for Alex,” said Christen. “I love you.” 

“Sp-spend a…lot of t-time with h-her,” Tobin said. Christen lifted up her chin. 

“Look at me,” she said softly. Tobin met eyes with her. All she saw was love and sadness in a way that made her gut twist. “I love you so much. Alex is my friend. I wanted her help. I needed someone to help me. She’s my friend. She’s our friend. She feels awful after everything that happened. She’s not a replacement for you. No one could ever replace you.” Christen sniffled. “I was so scared when you go hurt. I’ve been so worried. I’m worried because I love you. You didn’t deserve this. I know that it’s been hard. I’m so happy I could be with you. You’ve been getting so much better and I’m so fucking proud. I’m so happy that you’re here with me right now. I’m so happy that you can talk. I’m happy that you’re learning to walk again. I hate that you’re suffering. I hate that you think you’re not good enough. This isn’t about sex, okay? Out relationship is more than that. You never have to do anything because you think it will please me. I want you to be happy.

“You’re not broken, Tobin. You don’t have to be better for me. I just want you,” she said. Tobin stared at her. “I’m still attracted to you. You’re still my beautiful girlfriend. And I can’t wait for you to come home.” Tobin sniffled and rubbed her nose. Christen leaned over and kissed her tenderly. 

“You’re the love of my life,” said Christen. “And nothing’s going to change that.”


	18. Flashback--The Accident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin's accident--finally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is, early because I'm impatient and finished it fast. I should still be posting on Mon/Tues. I have the next chapter almost done already...
> 
> ...and sorry in advance for breaking your heart...
> 
> (also sorry for the weird spacing, I had to change the format to get italics)

Tobin smiled as she looked up at the stands. She can almost see Christen sitting up in the stands. At least, she thinks she can.

 

“Harry!” Tobin started as Allie ran into her. “Stop giving her heart eyes. We have a game to win.” Tobin rolled her eyes and finished warming up. Ashlyn looked over from the side of the Orlando Pride and waved at Tobin. Tobin grinned at her and nodded. She continued with her drills and tried to not day dream about…things…Christen promised her after the game.

 

_Tobin sat on the bench near the baggage carousel. She swung her legs back and forth glancing at her phone. She sighed. Her phone went off._

_Allie: Has Christen landed yet?_

_Tobin: Yeah. She hasn’t come out of the plane yet. I’m waiting for her._

_Tobin out her phone back and looked around watching for Christen in the large group of people walking in. When she didn’t see her, she looked over at the screen over the carousel. She didn’t see Christen’s flight. She sighed and tapped her foot._

_“Excuse me?” Tobin looked down at a young girl and her mother._

_“Hi,” said Tobin._

_“A-are you Tobin Heath?” she asked. Tobin knelt down next to her and smiled._

_“Yeah,” she said. “What’s your name?”_

_“Um, my name’s Lexie,” she said._ “Can I have a picture with you?” Tobin grinned at her.

_“Yeah, of course,” she said. The little girl bounced up and down and smiled at her mom. Tobin nodded her as her mom took the picture. From behind the mom she felt someone looking at her. She looked back and saw Christen looking at her. She smiled and shook her head. Tobin’s face broke into a grin. Christen nodded towards the mom, and Tobin remembered to look over. The mom took the picture._

_“Thank you,” said the girl._

_“Oh,” said the mom, walking over. “Here could you sign…?” Tobin half paid attention as she signed a notepad. She felt terrible about not being into it, but she hadn’t seen Christen in months…_

_The little girl gave her a hug. She saw Christen smiling out of the corner of her eye. The mom and girl left. Christen walked over._

_“Hey,” said Tobin, grinning goofily._ Christen shook her head.

_“Hey you,” she said. She walked over and squeezed Tobin’s hand._

_“I missed you,” said Tobin. Christen shook her head._

_“I missed you too,” she said._

_“I borrowed Allie’s car. Let’s get your bag and get out of here.”_

_“Gladly,” Christen mumbled._

_Tobin wouldn’t stand still as they waited for her bag. Christen squeezed her hand again and gave her a look and shook her head._

_“Somebodies antsy,” she said._

_“I said I missed you…” mumbled Tobin. Christen shook her head._

_“You’re the one who wanted to keep us private,” said Christen._

_“Do you want us to come out?” asked Tobin. Christen shook her head._

_“I’m just kidding,” she said. “You know that I understand how you feel. Come on, there’s my bag. Let’s get it and go to the car._

_Tobin grabbed Christen’s hand and dragged her back to her car. Tobin looked around the parking complex and leaned over and gave Christen a kiss. Christen reached up and cupped Tobin’s face. She rubbed little circles on Tobin’s cheek. Christen sniffled._

_“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” said Tobin. She leaned back to look Christen in the eye. She reached up and rubbed her nose._

_“Nothing, baby. I just…I really missed you too,” she said. Tobin furrowed her eyebrows. “I’ve just been…I don’t know, having a bad feeling about things lately…it’s weird, don’t listen to me.”_

_“Are you sure…?” asked Tobin. Christen leaned in and pecked her on the lips._

_“I’m sure. Don’t listen to me. I’m sure you’ll be fine. Your games going to go great…”_

 

“Tobin.” Tobin’s head snapped back up. “Hey. You’re in.”

************************************************************************************

Christen leaned over the edge of the bleachers. Kelley rolled her eyes.

 

“She better win,” said Christen. “It’s gonna suck if she doesn’t win and I try to propose to her.”

 

“Hey, no matter what happens, it’s going to be great,” she said. Christen chuckled and sighed.

 

“When she picked me up at the airport, I saw her with a little girl who wanted a picture and I just…” Christen shook her head. “I’m so happy we’re dating…God, it’s so dramatic.”

 

“Hey,” Kelley said. She rubbed her arm. “Hey, look, it’s okay. You’re allowed to be emotional. You’ve been waiting for how long to do this?” Christen shook her head.

 

“What if she doesn’t want to get married?” she said. “She likes her privacy. There’s no way this is not going to get out.” Christen rubbed her face.

 

“Haven’t you talked about this?” asked Kelley. Christen nodded and rubbed her face.

 

“Still, I just…”

 

“Stop worrying,” said Kelly. “She loves you.” Christen nodded and watched as Tobin walked onto the field. Kelley turned to look at Christen.

 

“So she has no idea that you’re going to propose to her?” asked Kelley. Christen shook her head.

 

“Allie Long and I went to pick out the ring last time I came,” she said.

 

“You didn’t tell me until a few weeks ago!” said Kelley. Christen smirked and shrugged.

 

“If I told you, you would have told Alex,” she said. “And Alex, would have told everyone.” Kelley opened and closed her mouth, trying to come up with a good response. Christen turned to her. “Don’t lie, you know I’m—” The whistle blew and a strange hush went over the stadium. Christen stood up.

 

“What happened?” She saw a lot of the Thorns huddled around. Christen managed to spot Alex’s Orlando Pride jersey among all the white Portland ones. But she couldn’t see Tobin. “What happened?” Kelley looked over and shook her head.

 

Christen isn’t quite sure when she realized that it was Tobin on the ground. But she ran. She left Kelley yelling after her, as she jogged down the sides and ran down. Her lungs burned as she went down the dingy staircase, nearly tripping over her feet. She couldn’t think, she couldn’t breath. The image f Tobin on the ground seared into her brain.

 

“No,” she mumbled to herself. “No, Tobin, please…”

 

She’s not sure if the security guard recognized her or if he face just terrified him. She ran down through the tunnels and stopped out in the sun. Allie saw her and beckoned her over. Christen ran over.

 

“What happened?” said Christen. She kneeled next to Tobin, who was curled up in a ball holding her head. Christen’s mind flashed back to all the other times this happened. Something felt different. Something felt worse. Tobin groaned. Her jaws was clenched tightly. She rubbed her face. Allie looked over and Alex, who was staring between Tobin and the goal post by her head.

 

“Fuck, it was an accident,” said Alex. “We were just…I was just playing—fuck—fuck I didn’t think I shoved her that hard…” Christen just stared at her. Tobin let out another cry as the trainer started looking her over.

 

“Did you lose consciousness?” he asked. Tobin clenched her jaws even tighter and let out a small noise. Christen squeezed he hand.

 

“Tobin, answer him,” she said. Tobin didn’t move. She didn’t react. Dread built up in Christen’s gut.

“Tobin, please say something. Tobin, come on.”

 

For a second, Christen saw Tobin lift her head up and give her a pained grin. She saw them sitting in the back of the trainer’s room as Tobin was diagnosed with a concussion. She saw her being talked into going to the hospital and getting a CT scan. She saw Tobin napping against her, and her proposing when she woke up. It wasn’t the grand thing she wanted at park, but it was something.

 

Of course, they weren’t that lucky.  

 

 Tobin made a gargling noise in the back of her throat and squeezed Christen’s hand weakly. The other trainer looked at her head. There was no blood, but something was clearly wrong. He wrapped a brace around her neck.

 

“Tobin. Tell him what’s wrong,” said Christen. Fear shown on Tobin’s face. All of the sudden, he head snapped back and her whole body shook. “Tobin, no. Tobin…Tobin!”


	19. Tobin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! The epilogue will be posted a week or so from now. Thanks for sticking with me. I look forward to hearing your thoughts!!

Tobin sighed and pushed up her glasses, squinting at the pamphlet in front of her. She heard a knock on the door.

“C’min,” said Tobin. 

Alex walked in. Tobin glanced up.

“Hey,” said Alex. Tobin nodded. Alex walked over and sat down on the bed. Tobin put the pamphlet down and looked up at her. “Can you even read that?” Tobin wrinkled her nose. “Sorry. Too soon?” 

“Eh,” said Tobin. They sat there in silence. Alex sighed. 

“Christen told me that you’re going home soon,” she said. Tobin nodded. “And you feel…ready?” Tobin quirked an eyebrow up. “Okay, fine, look. I never told you that I’m sorry.” Tobin’s eyebrows creased. “Did anyone very tell you what happened to you? God, you don’t even know. I almost fucking killed you and you don’t even know…” 

“W-we were…playing. It’s n-not your f-fault, Alex,” she said. Alex snorted.

“It’s definitely my fault,” said Alex. “I got too aggressive. I don’t even know why. Fuck, it wasn’t even an important game…” Tobin reached over and grabbed her hand. 

“’M not m-mad…” said Tobin. “B-but I thought…th-you were trying to…st-teal Christen…” Realization dawned on Alex’s face. “W-was dumb.” Alex shook her head. “I would never do that, Tobin. Fuck, I was trying to make it up to you and her. I fucked up everything. I wanted to make sure she was okay and you were taken care of. I never meant to make you think that, Jesus, Tobin. You guys are my friends. I know I’ve been weird ever since I split with Serv, but God, no. I’d never do that you.” Tobin nodded. 

“I-I’m sorry,” Tobin said. “I—”

“Holy shit, don’t apologize you’re making it worse,” she said. “This isn’t your fault. I—This is all my fault—”

“No,” said Tobin. “N-not your f-fault…J-just a thing th-that happened…w-wish it didn’t…but…” Tobin shrugged. “Nuh-no point in b-being mad…” 

“You’re a fucking saint, you know that?” said Alex. Tobin shrugged and grinned. Alex nudged her and shook her head. “We all miss you…on the team.”

“Wuh-wish…I could…pl-play again,” she said. 

“Hey, maybe you could coach?” Alex said. Tobin gave her a look. “You could do a better job than Jill.” Tobin shook her head. 

“Wuh-want to…coach…kids,” she said. Alex raised an eyebrow. She leaned back. 

“I shouldn’t be surprised,” she said. “You’d be good at it.” Alex smiled at her. 

“G-gimme a hug…ass,” said Tobin. Alex rolled her eyes and gave her a hug. Tobin squeezed her with her good arm. 

“I’m so glad that you’re okay,” she said. “We’re all so fucking glad that you’re okay. And we’re all rooting for you; we’ve been rooting for you to get back to where you feel good.” Tobin nodded.

“Gr-ateful…for all of you,” said Tobin. Alex let go and rubbed her shoulder. Alex rubbed her face.

“Jesus…you’re going to make me cry,” she said. Tobin grinned. There was a knock on the door, and Alex rubbed her face harder. 

“Hey. I didn’t know you would be here, Alex,” said Chriten. She walked over and gave Tobin a kiss on the lips. Alex shrugged. 

“Just checkin’ on our girl, here,” said Alex. Christen gave her a look. “I gotta go. Kelley…has a thing.” Alex walked out the door. Christen sat down at the edge of the bed in the stop where Alex vacated. 

“What was that about?” she asked. Tobin sighed. 

“Wuh-we had…a t-talk,” said Tobin. “A n-needed one…” Christen’s forehead creased. She turnd on her side and laid down next to Tobin. She leaned up and kissed her cheek. 

“What about?” she asked. Tobin opened and closed her mouth. 

“L-long st-ory,” she said. Christen nodded. She looked over and saw the pamphlet on the table. SHe picked it up. 

“Relationships after TBI,” she read. She looked back at Tobin. She looked a little concerned. 

“N-no about you…” She paused. “N-not just about…you…want to f-feel good…with you…” Christen nodded.

“I understand, Tobin. I want you to feel comfortable with yourself. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to do it for me.” Tobin nodded.

“I d-don’t,” she said. Christen leaned over and kissed her again. 

“I’m glad you’re reading,” she said. Tobin shrugged. 

“H-hard…makes head h-hurt…” she said. Christen nodded. 

“But you’re still doing it anyway,” she said. 

“Wuh-want to be…better,” Tobin said. Christen nodded.

“I know, baby,” she said. Tobin sighed and closed her eyes, pressing leaning her head on Christen’s chest. Tobin just basked in Christen’s presence. She felt calm. The pain wasn’t that bad. She was almost happy again. She was happy again. She was going home. She was feeling better. 

“Tobin…” said Christen. Tobin looked up at her. “Don’t take this the wrong way, okay? I love you a lot…but what would you think about going to a couple’s councilor?” Tobin’s head popped up. “Don’t freak out, okay? Deep breath. I love you so much. I would never leave you. This isn’t about that. Dr. Reese suggested that we see this councilor who specializes in helping couples after severe injury. It’s just…I never want to not understand you, okay? I want us to always feel like we can communicate. She would just help facilitate that.” Tobin leaned back and looked away. “If you’re uncomfortable, we don’t have to do it. I just thought it might be a good idea.” Tobin nodded slowly. 

“I-I under…stand…” Tobin sighed. “D-don’t like sh-sharing…our per-personal lives…wuh-with everyone.” Christen nodded and gently pulled Tobin back to her chest and rubbed her jaw and the nape of her neck. “C-can I…think uh-about it?” Christen nodded. 

“Of course, baby,” she said. “I get it. I know you don’t like to share our lives. I just think that until talking gets a little easier and you feel better about yourself, like, until you feel more independent, I think it would be good.” Tobin clenched her jaw and nodded. “I’m not trying to pressure you, Tobs. You can decide whatever you want. I just want you to know—I want this for us.” Tobin nodded. 

“Oh-kay…” Christen kissed the top of her head. Tobin grinned. 

“I love you,” she said. She leaned up and gave Tobin a kiss on the lips. Christen smiled into her mouth.

“I love you, too Tobin.”


	20. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you're uncomfortable with smut, skip to the first like page break/star line thing.

Tobin let out a groan. 

“Is there anything I can do, baby?” she said. Tobin shrugged and shook her head. 

“Can I try something that Dr. Reese recommended?” she asked. Tobin nodded. “Can I touch you?” Tobin held up a finger. “Are you sure that you want to do this?” Tobin nodded.

“Y-yes,” she said. “Gimme a m-minute…” She took a deep breath, squeezed her eyes shut and reopened them again. “T-try what?” Christen rolled Tobin on her side, into her chest so that she was spooning her. She pulled the pillow down to the base of her neck. She kissed her neck and rubbed her bare stomach. Christen stuck her arm under Tobin’s neck, pillowing it. 

“Comfy?” asked Christen. Tobin nodded. 

Christen reached up and rubbed her finger over Tobin’s nipple. Her body trembled with pleasure. 

“You good, baby?” asked Christen. Tobin nodded. 

“D-don’t st-stop,” she said. Christen grinned and kissed and bit her neck. Tobin moaned and gripped in the sheets on the bed. Christen’s free hand went down and rubbed Tobin’s belly and down into her pubic hair. Tobin shivered. Christen reached down and rubbed Tobin’s thigh. Tobin opened her legs ever so slightly. Christen pressed her knee in between Tobin’s leg, giving her much better access to Tobin’s genitalia. Christen’s hand ghosted past Tobin’s clit and shuddered. Her hand went back up and squeezed one of Tobin’s breast. 

“Is this good?” Christen whispered in Tobin’s ear. Tobin nodded rapidly. “Someone’s eager…”

“I love you,” said Tobin. Christen leaned over and kissed her on the lips. 

“I love you more,” she said. Tobin giggled. 

“No,” she said. Christen’s hand dipped back down and stroked Tobin’s labia. Tobin’s body jerked. 

“Too much?” asked Christen. 

“N-no,” said Tobin. She shook her head. Christen rubbed more harshly. Tobin started panting and rutting against Christen’s hand. Christen nibbled and sucked on her neck. 

It was still dizzying and a lot. It felt genuinely overwhelming. But Tobin didn’t care. Until she felt a spike of pain crawl up her shoulders. Tobin’s head jerked back and she whined. Christen jerked back a little. 

“What’s wrong?” she said. 

“N-need to turn,” Tobin said. Christen sat back and helped Tobin go on her back. 

“Deep breath,” said Christen. Tobin nodded and took a slow deep breath. She looked over at Christen and gave her a small smirk. She rolled on top of Christen. Christen held her up a little, and they kissed. Her shoulders still hurt, but the change in position eased it somewhat. Christen braced her under her arms. She felt Christen smile into her mouth. Tobin pawed at Christen’s boobs. Christen giggled and moaned. Tobin dropped her knee between Chisten’s. Christen moaned in surprise. 

“Getting handsy, huh?” said Christen. Tobin pushed her knee up higher and Christen let out a loud moan. Tobin let Christen lower her on her chest, so she was half on her and half off. She lifted her knee up higher. Christen smirked. Tobin leaned her head down and kissed her boobs. Christen rocked against Tobin’s knee. “Let me know if you need to—” Tobin kissed her again. 

Christen tensed under her and rubbed herself faster and faster. She let out a small cry. Tobin smiled, self-satisfied. She gently rubbed her knee against Christen a little more.

“C-came…fast,” said Tobin. Christen sighed and glared at her, flipping her over. 

“Comfy?” Tobin nodded. She went back to stacking her neck with kisses and sucking and bites. Christen moved her hand up and down Tobin’s side. Tobin was very close to coming herself. Making Christen come had gotten her so close…

“You’re pleased with yourself, huh?” she whispered. Tobin moaned again. “I’m going to make you feel another kind of pleased, huh?” Tobin moaned again. Christen reached lower and started pumping her fingers slowly in and out. Tobin moaned even louder. Christen started biting her neck and squeezedin and pinching a nipple. Tobin balled the sheet in her hand. 

“S-so close…” 

“Oh yeah?” asked Christen devilishly. She ducked her face lower and pressed it between Tobin’s legs. Her hand reached up and squeezed Tobin’s. She licked a long stripe up on Tobin’s clit. Her hips buckled. 

Tobin felt weightless. It only took a few more seconds for Tobin to become completely undone. She let out a short grunt and went completely boneless. She felt Christen crawl up next to her.

“You okay, baby?” she asked. Tobin nodded. Christen leaned up and kissed her.  
************************************************************************************  
Tobin woke up with a smile on her face. Her body ached, but it was so worth it. She down at Christen and ran her hand through her hair on her chest. Christen smiled. 

“Good morning,” she said. Tobin smiled.

“Hey,” she said. Christen stretched out, and Tobin nuzzled her hair.

“I wish we could just stay like this forever,” said Christen. 

“Y-you have camp t-today,” Tobin said. Christen nodded. 

“So? I like laying here with you,” she said. She smiled. Tobin kissed Christen forehead. Christen stood up and rubbed her eyes. “Come on. Let’s shower.”

After a much too long shower, Christen went to get dressed for a practice. Tobin sighed and pulled on a pair of Tobin’s USWNT shorts. Tobin stretched out her right leg and let out a tiny grunt. She pulled on a bra and a t-shirt. She leaned on the wall heavily and limped over to Christen. 

“Are you coming to practice with me?” Tobin nodded. “You need to get your brace on.” Tobin rolled her eyes. 

“Don’t like it,” she said. “I h-have to wear so-ocks.” Christen rolled her eyes. 

“Sit,” she said. Tobin sat on the bed. Christen grabbed the brace. She pulled a stool over and sat down, pulling Tobin’s foot to her knee. She pulled on the sock and strapped the plastic brace in. Tobin whined. “Oh, hush…drama queen.” She pulled on the other sock and the shorter, softer brace. She put her foot down and handed Tobin her cane. Tobin pulled herself to her feet. She shook slightly. Christen reached out and steadied her. “You good?” Tobin nodded. Christen rubbed her arm and finished dressing herself. Tobin crumpled down into the couch. She looked through her phone. 

“Chris? Wuh-when are we…picking up m-my ser-service…dog?” yelled Tobin down the hall. Christen popped her head out of their room. 

“Not for a few weeks still,” said Christen. Tobin nodded. Christen walked back pulling over her shirt over her head. “Look, I know how excited you are to get the dog. It’s going to be a big part of you gaining your independence, but the dog still needs to be trained and our insurance paperwork needs to go through.” Tobin sighed and nodded.

“I wuh-wanna go out…by myself…” she said. Christen sighed and cupped her face. 

“I know, baby,” said Christen. “But what if you have a seizure? I’d really rather you wait until you have the dog.” Tobin nodded and leaned her face into Christen’s hand. “Also…” Christen held up Tobin’s emergency alert bracelet. Tobin groaned, and Christen grabbed Tobin’s wrist and put the bracelet on it. Tobin tilted her wrist back and forth, shaking it.

“D-don’t like it,” said Tobin. Christen rolled her eyes and squeezed Tobin’s shoulder. 

“I know but it’s for your own good,” she said. “What if you have a seizure out in public?”

“You’re al-ways wuh-with me,” said Tobin. Christen ignored her and grabbed her bag. 

“Come on.”  
**********************************************************************************  
Tobin sat on the bench, rolling the ball with her good foot. She looked around the stadium watching the drills. She sighed. She looked up. 

Ashlyn jogged over. She sat down next to Tobin. 

“Hey!” she said. Tobin raised an eyebrow at her. “Someone’s grumpy?” Tobin glared at her. 

“I m-miss…playing,” she said. Ashlyn smiled at her sympathetically.

“I know,” she said. “I’m sorry. But, hey, once your balance gets a little better you can play with us for fun.” Tobin nodded and sighed. She leaned over on the cane. “How are you feeling?”

“F-fine. Had s-seizure yesterday,” Tobin said.

“Sorry about that,” said Ashlyn. 

“Just…just want to be normal,” said Tobin. Ashlyn rubbed her back. 

“Hey, just hang in there, Tobs,” she said. Tobin closed her eyes and nodded. A whistle blew. “I have to go. I’ll see you later, okay?” Tobin nodded. She watched Ashlyn run off. 

“Are you miserable here?” Tobin looked up at Christen. 

“Wuh-what? No,” said Tobin. “H-happy to be here…with you.” Christen smiled at her. “D-don’t look at me like that. I m-miss it but…” Tobin shook her head. “St-staring my job s-soon. It’ll be fine.” Christen kissed her forehead. 

“Well this is fucking depressing,” said Alex. Tobin jumped from where she was dosing on the bench. 

“Sh-shit!” she said. “You scared me.” Alex kicked the ball from Tobin’s good leg. “Hey!” 

“If you want it, come and get it,” Alex said. 

“Alex,” Tobin whined. 

“Come on, it’s been, like, 8 months since the accident? You should be back in the game by now,” said Alex. Tobin glared at her and swung her cane at Alex in a wide arc. Alex stepped back and gently pulled the end of Tobin’s cane. Tobin tipped forward. 

“Hey!” she yelled. Alex grabbed her and pulled her up by under her armpits. “HEY!” 

“Come on, Toby,” said Alex. Tobin steadied herself as Alex walked away. Alex dribbled the ball and walked back.

“Hey—no!” said Tobin. Tobin could feel that everyone was watching them. She though she saw someone stop Christen. Tobin walked over to Alex. Alex grinned at her. Tobin’s went to kick out the ball from under Alex’s foot. Tobin nearly fell. Alex grabbed her to keep her from falling and steadied her. Tobin took the opportunity to kick the ball away. Alex wouldn’t let go of her. Tobin smirked and used Alex’s weight and grip to dribbled and kick the ball away from her. Alex stepped over to try to block her. Tobin mis-stepped and twisted her arm. Alex stopped and using her hip, bumped Tobin so she stood more solidly and managed to dribble the ball around her. 

And they fell. Tobin let out a yell as Alex fell first, landing on her back and pulling Tobin so she landed on top of her. They burst out laughing. 

“Fuck. You’re g-gonna…brain damage m-me again,” said Tobin. Alex sighed and pulled Tobin off her into a sitting position. 

“Well, that’s what you get for being mopey,” she said. Alex got up. 

Christen walked up behind her, holding the ball. She raised an eyebrow at her. 

“Are you done maiming my girlfriend?” asked Christen. Alex smirked. 

“Won’t be your girlfriend for long…” she said walking away. Tobin’s forehead creased.

“God fucking dammit, Alex,” said Christen. “Now I have to do it, you bitch. I was trying to keep it a secret.” Alex smirked. Christen threw the ball at her head and missed. Christen knelt down. 

“Don’t listen to her,” said Christen, kissing her forehead. “Don’t freak out, okay?” Tobin nodded slowly. “Are you okay?” Tobin nodded. 

“I-I miss soccer,” she said. Christen nodded. 

“I know,” said Christen. Tobin pulled her leg to her chest and tapped her cane to the grass. “We’ll play together more, okay?” Tobin nodded.

Allie ran up the field.

“Christen.” Christen turned around, and Allie handed her a box. Christen turned back to Tobin and shifted on one knee. 

“I’ve been waiting for months to do this, and I was going to wait a little more, but ALEX FUCKING RUINED IT,” said Christen. 

“Your welcome!” she yelled. Tobin looked over. All the player and couches were standing around watching them. Her vision was still too messed up to see them clearly. Christen tapped her knee. Tobin looked over at Christen’s teary eyes

“I’ve been planning this since before your accident,” she said. She cleared her throat. “You make me happy. Ever since we met at one of these camps, what 5 years ago now, you have made me happy. You were a great teammate, a great friend, a great girlfriend…I just…” She sighed. “Fuck. I forgot my speech.” She chuckled. “This isn’t a spur of the moment thing that I decided to do, because I’m terrified that you’re going to die. I’ve been waiting to do this for years. I’ve been holding onto this ring for months. I’ve been waiting for you to feel better enough that you wouldn’t feel like you had to say yes.” Christen brought up the ring and popped open the box. 

“Will you marry me?” 

Tobin looked down at the ring and opened and closed her mouth. She stared up at Christen and then down at the ring. 

“I love you, Christen,” said Tobin. “Yes. So much. Yes.” Tobin threw herself at Christen and knocked her over. Christen grinned.

“Thank you,” said Christen.

“Sh-shut up and kiss me,” said Tobin. And she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys. This has been an insane story. Thanks for all the feedback. You all have been wonderful. I loved hearing from you. I loved when I posted a chapter and seeing some of the same people comment and tell me what they thought every time. Thank you so much for reading this and sticking with me through cliffhanger and wonky update schedules.
> 
> I'm not making any promises, but I do have a sequel idea. It would be a few months before I start it, because I want to take a break, but if I did write it, here's what I'm thinking:  
> Tobin and Christen live together, but the whole situation with her getting traded to Dallas then going to Sweden happens. Tobin still can't live completely independently and ends up moving in with Alex and Kelley (who are totally just roommates and not at all fucking **wink wink nudge nudge**). Tobin has to learn to be without Christen and deal with her job as a coach to younger kids. It would end with (Spoilers) Christen coming back to play in the US like she did in real life, but would anyone be interested in that? Again, you would have a wait, but if anyone wants it leave me a comment,
> 
> And hey,  
> Thanks.
> 
> (Also I posted a one-shot Kellex spinoff of this, if anyone is interested)


	21. NOT A CHAPTER

THE SEQUEL IS UP RN. IT'S CALLED REMEDY. IT'S PART 3 IN THIS SERIES. I WOULD LOVE IT IF YOU CHECKED IT OUT. THANKS GUYS


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